Is this... is this the hottest thing on Instagram? I could have saved this video of a guy doing a backflip in grey boxer briefs for today's amateur post, but that's hours away. It's my money shot and I need it now!
You guys know at this point that Mark Zuckerberg and I are personal best friends and that he has my personal best interest in mind, so I shouldn't have been too surprised last night when the Instagram algorism hooked me up with a man who goes by the name Elio Chalamet. His account is private, but his backflip video was picked up by a random thirst account.
Elio has a smooth tan bod and thighs mightier than the thiccest redwoods. He also appears to have a grapefruit stuffed inside his underwear, because when he does his slow-motion backflip, we can clearly see whatever the hell he's packing trying to make a run for it. It's the perfect combination of centrifugal force and genetics.
I'm very aware that I'll probably get schooled in the comments for not realizing that Elio Chalamet is a BelAmi model or something (he does have a link to his OnlyFans in his Instagram bio), but as it stands in my imagination... he's just an innocent midwestern gymnast. All he has are his ambitions and his grey boxer briefs. The big state championship in Kansas City is next weekend. He'd be able to stick the landing... if it wasn't for his 9" long penis and balls the size of avocados. Maybe that guy from the rival team who keeps smiling at Elio can help him lighten his load? NO, HE MUSN'T THINK SUCH THOUGHTS.
Okay well bye lol.