Sharing The Rent Boys & The Whore Tipping Point

We all learned to share when we were in kindergarten--but does that practice work when it comes to rent boys? What do "bodywork" and "massage" actually mean? And is your hustler really going to sell you out to a two bit tabloid? Next week: holiday bonuses and finding that lost dildo.

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While TOW prefers questions be sent directly to his email address, I can't let this comment from last week slip by…

Is it common practice for escorts to "offer the dirt to a tabloid writing friend"?

Yes, yes it is. And are you surprised? Haven't you heard of Mike Jones? The personal trainer and butch top that toppled anti-gay evangelical Ted Haggard? Or debut novelist and $2000-an-hour escort Natalie McLennan who, it is rumored, dropped the dime on Ashley Dupree, NY Governor Elliot Spitzer's $1500-an-hour escort. Welcome to the new millennium. That hooker with the heart of gold cliché died the moment Julia Roberts was denied the right to shop in Pretty Woman. If you want absolute silence you'll need to pay David Geffen prices.

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A buddy who just LOVES hustlers took me out for a beer and introduced me this hot Brazilian guy he called 'Premium." He told me this kid was all that and couldn't stop talking about him. When Prem' took the stage I could see his Speedo was stuffed with a lot more than just dollar bills. Then, when I was cruising the 'boi' ads online a few nights later, I see the guy was available so I set up a date. When I told my buddy I spent the night with Premium, he goes nuts. He says I'm 'stealing' his boy. WTF? Can you steal a hustler?

Wait, did Premium know you were buddies with one of his regulars? Because I'm surprised that a whore crossed parties for a few bucks. Oddly, after that last question on ethical standards, this is where hustler etiquette comes into play. You NEVER have dates with a regular client's friends. Never. It's the oldest rule in the whore handbook. That and offering Nathan Lane a drink, break it and only disaster follows. But, from your perspective, you have no blame. You didn't know your buddy felt so territorial about Premium. Offer your apologies and give him some room. Too many johns get overly attached to a working boy and your buddy may have been dealt a harsh realization. Be the bigger man and next time choose Unleaded.

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In all the hustler listings online I see guys offering 'bodywork' and 'massage'. What is the difference?

No difference. You're hiring a hustler, not a chiropractor. Both terms are code for "You get naked, I touch you". If you're looking for the less shady option, forget it. Both terms are equally murky under the law. Acknowledging that each state is different, I can tell you that in NYC, a licensed massage practitioner (masseuse/masseur is their version of 'colored') can touch you, naked or clothed, with legal impunity. A legit body worker can touch you, but you can't be naked and, generally, the area from nipples to knees is off limits. Now, a working boy tossing a listing up online isn't so worried about the legal terminology. Unless they list an actual license number, you can assume you will be naked and it's going to include a happy ending.

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I'm in a 'friends with benefits' relationship with a guy I like, but not like-like. He seems to be really into me and wants to take me to San Francisco for a weekend. He has a whole tour planned including the theatre, museums and restaurants, the works. He knows I can't afford all this and keeps saying he is happy to pay for the trip. I know you're an old whore, but I don't want to be a young whore. When is a 'gift' really payment for services rendered?

Oh god, why do you have to ruin everything by over thinking? This is why Capricorns don't make good hustlers. Can't you just enjoy the moment and try to delay the inevitable tears? Yes, this is doomed. You will be left feeling awkward and he will feel used, but between now and then you can have a lot of fun and pick up a few souvenirs. But to address the bigger question: what is the Whore Tipping point? That's a personal decision. Some guys will pick up a trick for three items off the dollar menu. Another would say with absolute conviction that he wouldn't for a million dollars. Your's seems to be when you get that weird feeling in your stomach. So you gotta decide if you can swallow that feeling or spit it out. And don't worry about me. Everyone has a price, I just happen to know my mine.

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Previously: Ask The Old Whore Archive