We Can Not Sit Idly by and Watch These Tattoos Happen

February 27, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

Do you think that porn producers ever turn away models for having ridiculous tattoos? If we were producers, this is the first case where we would have literally laughed his ass off the set.

Seriously, we think there needs to be a board that reviews all body art before pornstars are allowed to get themselves inked. If there were, they would have vetoed this faster than President Clinton put the kibosh on the Intern Disintegration Act of 1997. Seriously, what kind of "Growing Up Gotti" bullshit is this? Luckily for Styrker over at Maskturbate, we can't see his face—cause we'd totally be laughing in it if we could. Sure, you're pretty hot and beefy, but the only thing keeping your backside from looking like the tail end of a Chevy pickup is a picture of Calvin pissing on a Ford logo and a set of Truck Nutz.

It reminds us of one of porn's other greatest tattoo mistakes, the yellow and peach bodybuilder that adorns the derriere of Fleshbot Crush Object Zak Spears. It doesn't seem to be distracting Carlo Masi much (in Colt's classic "Wide Strokes") but it makes us giggle every time we see the macho man from behind. So, let this be a lesson to you, Stryker: just because you don't have to look at it, that doesn't mean the rest of us aren't laughing.