You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

Put the safety on this dude's gun. Who knows when it'll go off. When it does...it will kill. With cum! And you'll like it.

This weapon of ass destruction frankly scares us. Its owner, Sawyer, may look like a sweet southern belle who'd look fine white-washing a fence, but destruction is clearly on his mind. Can you imagine sitting on that? You'd first have to prep with a rolling pin.

Be warned if you put this doozy of an Uzi anywhere in you body. In your mouth would be reenacting a cum-splattering version of that bathroom scene in "Full Metal Jacket." In your ass would be like riding atop Old Faithful. On your chest would guarantee you'll end up like Goldie Hawn in "Death Becomes Her."

Take Sawyer to the target range instead, and play at your own risk. And protect yourself!

· Sawyer (seancody.com)