Five Essentials Colby Keller Needs For His Cross-Country Fuck Fest

You may or may not have already heard that Colby Keller plans to spend an entire year traveling North America in order to fuck someone in each and every state, including the Canadian provinces.

As we reported yesterday, Colby launched an Indiegogo campaign to bankroll his dream of swapping bodily fluids in all contiguous states, announcing that he needs $35,000 in order to buy a van, a mattress, and some cameras to presumably launch an original gay porn website that will follow his journey. Think a seedier version of the award-winning Cockyboys RoadStrip featuring a post-pubescent cast, fucking in the back of a van without all the Bait Bus blindfold shenanigans.

Like that time Christian Wilde fucked Brandon Jones in a van on the Golden Gate Bridge. (There's an idea — why can't Colby fuck at notable national monuments?)

Colby has made over $9,000 in just four short days. Needless to say, this project is gong to be fully funded and the launch of Colby's new site is closer than you'd think. In anticipation of the big premiere, we offer a few important tips.

Here are five things we'd like to see on your Big Shoe Adventure, Colby:

[jwplayer id="7175856"]

Restraints

Remember that time Colby let the Cockyboys cameraman jerk him off? We still haven't figured out who that lucky man hand belongs to, which perhaps makes the visual of a lone arm reaching into frame to stroke this beautiful dick while Colby writhes around that much hotter.

He had his hands in a black leather restraint by the time he jizzed all over the mystery hand — not quite as extreme as the St. Andrew's Cross he was chained to for that fateful "milking" at Treasure Island Media. For his upcoming road trip, we suggest something a little more sensual and mysterious, like the restraints Anthony Romero used for his hotel "intruder" fuck with Gabriel Clark.

Just open up the back of that van and allow anyone to enter and have their way with you, Colby. There's no way that could end badly.

[jwplayer id="7175860"]

Dale Cooper

Being two of the most intellectual and eloquent gay porn stars of our time, I think Colby owes it to us to inject some brain stimulation into this project by bringing Dale Cooper along for a portion of the ride. It would be a defining moment in gay porn history, a modern-day Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg traveling, making art, and filming themselves having passionate sex in the back of an old van.

Sounds thrilling, no?

Just think of the adorable moments they'd have sitting around a campfire, writing poetry and discussing Panspermia. The result would be a boner for the mind and medicine for the soul. (Full disclosure: I feel like a relationship between these two wouldn't work because they'd overpower each other's creative processes. That's why Dale is only invited for part of the trip.)

[jwplayer id="7175857"]

Varying degrees of facial hair 

It has been scientifically proven that Colby Keller looks incredible regardless of his hair and facial hair length. In the last year alone, we've seen him clean-shaven, sporting a full mountain man beard, and at times, wearing what straight media identifies as the "man bun." Not once has he looked unappealing.

Personally, I don't care what length the hair on his head is, so long as he doesn't touch that beautiful hairy ass. Any body hair growing below the neckline is non-negotiable.

Will Wikle

Let's finally make this happen, ok?

[jwplayer id="7175838"]

A GoPro

POV sex is emerging as a new favorite for studios and viewers alike. As viewers, we've long wrestled with the double-edged sword that is "We want to watch porn but we don't want it to look like porn," and only a few studios have managed to deliver.

I'd peg Bel Ami as the champion of POV sex — I was immediately converted to the POV fandom after witnessing the amazing threesome between Phillipe Gaudin, Ariel Vanean, and Luke Hamill, shot entirely with a shaky camera being passed off between the guys throughout the scene. They've done it a few times since then, each time to a rave review.

Helix has begun filming "Real Cam" POV scenes, pegging them as more "intimate." Back in December, Dominic Ford royally failed with the release of a Google Glass porn. Isn't it about time someone tried a fucking GoPro?