Russia Doesn’t Understand What Gay Porn Is

By now, we're all well aware of how Russia thinks that gay people are second class citizens with "disorders of sexual preference," but their latest attempt to classify something completely benign as both pornographic and homosexual is laughably off the mark. According to Gay Star News (link below), one right wing politician is enraged that Apple allowed U2 to covertly release their latest album on all Apple devices, but for a very different set of reasons than the rest of us had with the move.

Alexander Starovoitov, a member of the right-wing LDPR party, said youths were 'corrupted' after they received U2's new album Songs Of Innocence in September 2014. 

The album, which was distributed to 500 million iTunes customers worldwide, featured the band's drummer Larry Mullen Jr with his 18-year-old son Elvis. Both were shirtless.

The group said it was a metaphor, how 'holding on to your own innocence is a lot harder than holding on to someone else's'.

Starovoitov claims the U2 album art promotes gay sex and is reportedly ready to sue Apple for compensation for moral damages on behalf of his own son.

'I, like many Russian citizens, own an iPhone. In 2014, the band U2 forced my phone to download their new album. Their cover album depicts two men, which in my view, depicts the expression of a non-traditional sexual relationship to each other.

'It should be noted these songs could not be removed from the phone.'

When U2 were facing the backlash from iPhone users who were not massive fans of the band, they apologized about the automatic download.

'I had thie beautiful idea and we kind of got carried away with ourselves,' Bono said. 'Artists are prone to that kind of thing.'

If Apple is convicted of distributing gay propaganda, the company could be forced to cease operations in Russia for 90 days or pay a fine of up to 1 million roubles ($20,000, €17,000).

Couple of things to address here, not least of which is the fact that the picture is of a father and son, and while this guy may indeed be up on the latest gay porn trends, this is an actual father and son, not a gay porn scenario father and son. Second, the songs are 100% removable from the phone. I did it, so can you Vladimir, or whatever the fuck your name is because I couldn't be bothered to retain that information. 

My third and final issue is with you, Bono. Your ideas aren't beautiful, they're bad. The problem is that you've attained a level of success wherein no one calls you out on these things anymore. It's sad that it took an intolerant government official to finally call you out on this. 

h/t Gay Star News