Chris Hemsworth Shirtless Ripped Instagram Blitz

This weekend has been marred by closeted homosexuals in Transitions lenses masquerading as "white supremacists" when a good therapy sesh would reveal that they're "power bottoms." I thought of doing a Top Ten Most Fuckable White Supremacists Who Should Be Gay Porn Stars, but after Joey Salads and Jake Paul, I kind of ran out of names. Instead, as a brief distraction to our neo-Nazi president and his John Wayne Gacy lookalike army of racists, here's a shirtless and ripped to death Chris Hemsworth pimping out something called Orpheus Island in a non-ad ad on Instagram.

Hemsworth is throwing his dick into the Insta ho bag ring in a major way, flouncing around his exotic destination without the pesky confines of a shirt. Watch out, Bella Hadid and your bot follower army! Chris' face is unfortunately all over Elsa Pataky's face, but that doesn't stop me from picturing it all over my taint. Chris captions his Insta album with:

One of the best weekends ever thanks @orpheusislandand @australia. If you haven't been then add it to the long list of amazing places to see in Oz, it's a must! @elsapatakyconfidential @emerysurfboards @lukemun @aprilmun @avminaircharter

To any advertisers reading this, if you need a sinewy blogger with four followers to pimp out your wares, hit a bitch up!