Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Ex Sex, Broke Bestie, & Uncut Dicks

Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Ex Sex, Broke Bestie, & Uncut Dicks

Hellooooo, Sexies!

Ho ho ho, call me a hoe! We are actually through the Christmas season. It, pardon the pun, came and went, just like most of my December hookups. Sadly, I did not find my Mr. Christmas…how about you guys? The holidays seemed a bit rough, relationship-wise, this year for everyone. My inbox was full of relationship advice. So let’s kick it off!

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. Perfect timing, right before the holidays. Uggg. We are trying to make things amicable because we are still living together and still have to for a few months because of finances. A few nights ago, we had too much to drink, and we had sex. For me, it was just a quick romp in bed. I’m hoping it was the same for him. He is sleeping on the sofa, but slept in the bed that night. For Christmas, he went way overboard with presents. It really got me mad. I appreciate the sentiment, but we agreed no presents because of the breakup and because we are trying to save our money to move out.  He said he already ordered some of the presents he got me before the breakup, and I told him to return them all. He said he can’t. When I say he went overboard, I mean it. I only got him a box of his favorite candy, and that was it. Now I feel guilty because I didn’t get him a lot, and I feel like a douche because I got angry about it. I don’t have any feelings about getting back together. I’d like us to be friends, but that’s it. What should I do?

Mr. Ex Sex

Dear Mr. Ex Sex,

Unfortunately, I’ve had way too much experience with breakups. It sounds like he still has feelings for you and is pretending like things are continuing along like normal, and that there might be some hope of getting back. The holidays are hard. They make us feel lonely, and sometimes we settle down in wrong relationships just because it fills a void. You should not feel guilty at all because you both made an agreement to no presents. The fact that he still got you expensive stuff, even knowing full well that money needs to be going towards a move, is a bit manipulative and sounds like he (even subconsciously) is trying to guilt you into having feelings and staying together. That being said, you also need to stick to your side of things. Having sex after a break-up, even if it is vodka-inspired, sends the wrong signals. Even if you know it is just sex, it appears that your ex doesn’t. Sit down and make a firm recommitment on how the relationship is going to work until the move is made. You may have to cool the jets on any type of friendship until you are physically separated. Send him to my house. I love expensive gifts.

________

Hey, Chad!

My bestie is my everything. We see each other at least four times a week, we are on the phone constantly, and he has been my ride or die for about 8 years now. As the years have gone by, he has stayed a retail employee, and I have excelled in my banking career. I am proud of him and his hard work, but our salaries are just completely on opposite ends. I pay for everything every time we go out. It is starting to weigh on me because he just assumes it’s going to happen. This even happens for our fun bestie trips – cruises, Vegas, local weekend trips – everything. This New Year’s, the plan is to spend the week in New Orleans. Well, this year has been tough for businesses, and I didn’t get my year-end bonus like I usually do. Also, I am saving to buy my first house this year. This trip is really, really expensive, and I’m getting really cold feet about it, worrying about money. I feel like a dick if I cancel, but I really need to save that money for my house. What’s a bestie to do?

Broke Bestie

Dear Broke BF,

This has been a really tough year financially for many. I get many, many advice questions like this – either between friends or between partners. Financial differences are just tough to deal with, and no one ever likes to talk about money – it is uncomfortable. But here’s the thing, we all have some sort of issues with money, so it is something we should talk about in the open and just get that part of the conversation taken care of. Look, this guy is your bestie. You have been signing the check for many years, so it shouldn’t be any problem whatsoever for you just to be honest with him and put the brakes on an expensive trip. If he is your true bestie, you guys could have fun spending New Year’s at Denny’s. Your financial future, especially in today’s economy, is your first priority – over a fun trip that can no doubt happen in the future. That’s a good way to approach your bestie. Tell your buddy that you need to postpone (not cancel) the trip until finances are more secure. Also, put into the conversation the idea that maybe both of you could put a little money aside each month to pay for an upcoming trip. His share doesn’t have to be equal, but making him contribute a portion will also make him more mindful of the money and effort you have been putting in. A first house is a big deal, and you and your bestie can make new memories in that new home. Just don’t let him move into the guest house.

________

Hello, Chad!

My boyfriend of five years wants to get circumcised. He’s always been a bit shy about his uncut dick. I love it. I really think the stigma that once existed about guys who are uncut has really gone away. I am seeing more uncut cocks in gay porn, in the locker room, etc. But my guy just has memories of being bullied. Here are my concerns: first of all, the procedure is pretty painful and can be botched pretty easily. Also, he won’t be able to get hard or have sex for months. And…this might sound silly…but, I’m nervous that he wants to get circumcised because he is fooling around with someone else. Why else would he want to get it done if I love his dick and we are the only ones having sex? Am I being crazy?

Uncut Fan

Dear Uncut Fan,

I love a good chewy foreskin! LOL. As someone who is uncut, I do know the bullying and teasing that can happen while growing up. Most of the guys I grew up with were all cut, and so I definitely was not the norm. That, on top of my hidden sexuality, caused a bit of trauma. As I started dating as a gay man and started watching more porn, I saw that being uncut was just a part of the variety of men out there, and nothing to be made fun of or shunned. Hey, some guys like onions on their burgers and some don’t – some guys like uncut cocks and some don’t. To each their own, we all have certain tastes. Depending on how old your man is, he may be going through a bit of an age crisis. We’ve all gone through it, where we feel ourselves getting a bit older, and then we feel everything about us needs to be improved or changed – we go to the gym more, we change our wardrobe, we dye our hair blonde, or something else dramatic. His wanting to get circumcised probably has nothing to do with the actual physicality of it. I got a tattoo this year after years and years of wanting one. Getting it made me feel like I accomplished a goal I had made when I, myself, was being bullied. This could be a testament to something that he wants to prove to himself – whether that is good or bad is unclear. It could be something he can work through by talking to a therapist about the feelings behind it. But taking a scalpel to a dick is very tricky.  I wouldn’t do it. Just sit down with him and let him be honest about his motive. Reiterate how sexy he is to you. But, at the end of the day, it is his body, and he can do pretty much what he wants to with it. A good friend of mine broke up with his man after his man got a really bad facelift. That is a whole issue in itself. Sounds like you guys need to have a talk, but you need to be open to his doing something for himself that makes him feel better.

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