Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Awful In-Laws, Broke BFs, & Blue Balls

Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Awful In-Laws, Broke BFs, & Blue Balls

Hellooooo, Sexies!

We made it through Thanksgiving! Did you all get stuffed good? LOL. I had a hot and lovely encounter with a visiting military man who couldn’t host while visiting his parents. Lucky for me, I have a bed waiting for holiday action! We sure burned off those turkey and pumpkin pie calories. Thank you for your service, man! Quick question, do you guys get hornier or less horny during the holiday season? While I’m not a fan of the holiday pounds I tend to pack on, I sure love some cuddly coupling during the cold days. Ho ho HOE!

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I can’t stand my boyfriend’s family. There, I said it. We’ve been dating for 8 years, and we have a great relationship. For all purposes, we are married, although we don’t believe we need to have a legal document that says so; thus, we haven’t gotten married. In any case, I don’t have any family left. My boyfriend has a huge family. But I detest them. They are extremely conservative and super vocal about their beliefs. Whenever we visit, they make us both very uncomfortable, and I can’t wait to leave the minute we step into their house. Here’s the thing: we have to go visit them every holiday. We just finished yet another miserable Thanksgiving with them. I can’t bear to see them in a few weeks for Christmas. After 8 years of rudeness, I am done. My boyfriend doesn’t exactly feel all the warm feelings for his family, but they’ve brainwashed him to believe that he has to be a part of every holiday out of duty. What should I do?

Hate the Fockers

Dear Hate the Fockers,

Nope. Not even. Just because you don’t have family doesn’t mean you don’t have rights during the holidays. These are your special days as much as they are his family’s. On top of that, if you aren’t treated with respect, they shouldn’t get any either. I know your boyfriend feels obligated, but that’s his issue. In honor of your relationship, he needs to confront his family and demand some changes. That’s all there is to it. You and him have your own family, between the two of you. And that family unit should take priority. You can compromise with either Christmas or Thanksgiving, but you shouldn’t have to do both. Put your foot down and say that one of those holidays is just for you. Plan a romantic getaway for your own personal holiday with your man. The holidays are about being around those you love. Not an obligation. Those days are over. Put on your power top panties and demand some changes. If your boo can’t find the courage to make some changes, spend the holiday on your own, cozy at home. You shouldn’t be obligated to be treated badly, and your boyfriend should understand that. If you want to stay home and deck my halls, let me know!

________

Hey, Chad!

My boo and I have been dating for three years. Things are ok, we have a lot of hot sex, and, for the most part, have a good relationship. We fight for sure, but doesn’t every relationship? Recently, my boyfriend got tangled in a DUI, and it's costing him an arm and a leg. Well, let me be clear, it is costing US an arm and a leg. We had to hire a lawyer to make sure his license didn’t get suspended. We’ve had more expenses due to an increase in car insurance. Last week, he was informed he missed a payment, and his insurance lapsed. That’s a big no-no while under probation. So there will probably be more fees, and his license might end up suspended anyway. I am fit to be tied. He couldn’t afford his part of the rent last month because of all of these expenses. I paid for the lawyer. He works as a go-go and makes good money, but with all of this, it is not enough. I am having to cinch my wallet for my own personal stuff because I am helping cover. It is hard to go to work every day while he sleeps in and goes to the gym because he makes a decent wage while dancing. I love him and want to help, but I’m just really financially frustrated. Advice?  

Broke BF

Dear Broke BF,

It sounds like your boo needs to put on his big boy thong and go get a second job. He may be making a decent wage dancing at night, and he might have late nights, but he needs to suffer a bit to take care of his financial situation. You can certainly help out as his boyfriend, but he needs to work a bit harder to help rectify the situation. Many go-go dancers have second jobs to help ends meet. He shouldn’t rely on or expect you to handle the brunt of his actions. Between a second job and your contributions, his current financial situation could improve quickly, and you can get back to normal. He has to put the time and effort in. If he loves you, he will understand this and be motivated to do his part. But you making it easy for him isn’t helping him, and it isn’t helping your relationship. You will start to resent him, and that’s not good for anyone. Give him some tough love and get him off his ass.

________

Hello, Chad!

After five years together, my boyfriend and I got married. I didn’t think anything would change, but there’s been a bit of a shift. We’ve been fighting a bit more, which isn’t normal for us. We fight about stupid stuff, not major things. Still, the fights have built up, and I’ve noticed that he is using sex as a bartering tool. We have amazing sex, and we love doing it. But now, when we fight, if I don’t concede to his point of view, he won’t give up his ass. We’ll go days pushing me away unless I apologize and give him what he wants from the fight. We ended up fighting over watching Drag Race (I hate it), and now I’ve ended up having to watch the damn show just to get his hole. It sounds silly, but it is upsetting. Unfortunately, I am a slave to that ass, so I never win in a fight. What should I do?

Blue Ball Boyfriend

Dear Blue Ball Boyfriend,

What an asshole. LOL. And yes, I mean that in a couple of different ways. He must be really great in bed for you to compromise yourself like that. If anyone uses sex as a bartering tool in a relationship, I walk the other way. That’s just not cool. It is manipulative and doesn’t say much about the person who feels they need to use their body to win. And you are feeding right into it. You are married, so it is not like you can just walk away. It sounds like you guys need some marriage counseling to avoid using sex as a weapon. Once the sex is compromised in a relationship, it can all go downhill from there. It sounds like you need to have more control in the relationship and reclaim your power. If you have blue balls, just deal with it and don’t give in. In fact, if you want to be a jerk about it (I love being petty during fights), call his bluff and tell him if he won’t give up his ass, you’ll have to start looking elsewhere. Or, when he doesn’t give it up, just pull out the porn and start jerking off loudly and let him know you can still get your rocks off without him. That’s the mean girl approach, LOL. Above all, go get some joint therapy to learn how to properly fight. All couples fight; it is how you work through it that counts.

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