What is Monkey-Branching? Gay Dating Explained

What is Monkey-Branching? Gay Dating Explained

This year, we've done a deep dive into the world of gay dating. There are so many trends and new terms to learn, as if dating in the gay culture wasn't hard enough on its own. We've covered Shrekking, pebbling, Banksying, and more. For this edition of Gay Love and Romance, we are taking a look at the world of monkey-branching. WTF? Get out the bananas!

Monkey-branching is a term given to cheaters. Cheaters are bad enough, but this type of cheating can be particularly deviant. Just like you would imagine watching a monkey swing from branch to branch, they usually hold on to a branch before they grab hold of a new one. Well, that's what this is in the gay dating world. Someone who is monkey-branching will not let go of a current relationship as they search for a new one.

What makes monkey-branching so awful? They refuse to let go of a current relationship, using them for companionship, while cheating on them until they find a suitable substitute. They know full well they are leaving their current boo. Their boo has no idea that they are cheating and searching for a replacement. The person who is monkey-branching is so selfish and just so afraid of being alone that they will use their current relationship as needed, throwing it away like a rag once they find a suitable host. Just like a parasite.

Relationship specialists also believe that people who monkey-branching are also narcissists. They avoid permanent attachment in search of the thrill of praise and the honeymoon stage of a new relationship. They never settle down and actually care for and nurture a relationship with someone on a long-term basis. They need something flashy and new and surface-level.

Monkey-branching is prevalent in the gay community, mostly due to the ease in finding new prey in the hookup and dating apps. Cheating is made easy using a smartphone. If your boo won't let you look at their phone, that is an immediate red flag. Other red flags are if you feel that your partner is starting to pull away romantically and physically. If you find yourself fighting more without coming to a resolution, or if they stop talking about plans in the distant future, they may be disconnecting and looking for someone else. If they are constantly on their phone and ignoring you while in the room, that is also a bad sign.

Being the victim of monkey-branching is not fun. But it should also be considered from a big picture, especially in the gay dating world. Growing up, we are so afraid of being ostracized and alone after coming out. These feelings can stay with someone and affect the way they look at dating in the gay world. Therapy could help out in a situation like this. Also coming from the gay world, feeling like true queer love is a fantasy because it is not a "normal" part of the world, can inhibit someone from hunkering down.

Be aware of the signs. And also look within to see if you are participating in a level of monkey-branching.