Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Kissing Friends, Smelly BFs, & VPLs

Hellooooo, Sexies!

Is everyone ready for Halloween? This year, I’ll be heading to Palm Springs for Halloween weekend to attend their block party that is going to last two nights. Strike up the gland! My ass always does well in Palm Springs, and I can only imagine what kind of stories I am going to have for all of you. Anywhoooooo -

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I know two of my gay friends hooked up. One is my bestie, we’ve been friends for 18 years, and the other is a relatively new friend of 2 years that I spend multiple days a week together. I dated my bestie years and years ago, and I’ve fooled around with my new friend on a couple of drinking nights. I don’t have love feelings for either one, and I don’t have jealousy issues. I don’t care if they hooked up, but the fact that they are both lying about it makes me angry. Why are they keeping it a secret? It has been verified by two of our other friends, one of whom literally listened to their hookup in the other room. I don’t want to be dating either one of them, and my bestie has a partner of over 8 years. I hate lying in any relationship, and there’s really no reason they are being secretive. It really makes me mad. What should I do?

Kissing Friends

Dear Kissing Friends,

It always hurts when friends keep secrets behind your back. But we gays really do talk a lot of gossip and do a lot of things that are questionable. We are horn dogs, we are catty queens, and so we tend to hide things we might not be the most proud of. You might want to reconsider if there isn’t one ounce of jealousy there. Not that you want to be dating either one of them, but that they have something together that you are not a part of. That is bound to not feel good. What you can take as a positive is that they obviously care about your feelings enough not to want to hurt you with this information. They probably messed up, did something they regret, and want to spare your feelings. They don’t realize the lie is worse than the action. I would sit them down together and just put it out there, telling them that you know everything. Talk it through with them and then get over it. Just tell them honesty is more important than anything else. Who knows? Maybe all three of you will end up in bed. I wanna watch. LOL.

________

Hey, Chad!

My boyfriend stinks. There, I said it. It is something new that has been happening for the past few months. He has the worst breath. Like FOUL. I know that part of it is that he has started drinking more, going out more times during the week. The next morning, his breath rivals the depths of hell. Even after he brushes his teeth or takes a mint, I still can’t bear to kiss him or be near his mouth. He thinks I am falling out of love with him because we don’t have our mega makeout sessions anymore, but it really is because I can’t still his breath. It really disgusts me. I have told him to brush his teeth many times a day, and he gets upset and defensive. I really can’t stand it anymore. Am I a terrible boyfriend?

Foul Mouth

Dear Foul Mouth,

Life is not like the movies, where a couple wakes up after a night of sleep and immediately starts kissing. Girl, morning breath is for real! Honestly, our bodies are kind of gross, and the smells that can be emitted from them are not pleasant. But it sounds like something else is going on here. Your boyfriend probably has a cavity or is having gut issues. If he is drinking more, it is probably affecting his digestion. That directly affects breath, and something like that can’t be covered up with gum. He needs to go to the dentist and see what they say. If it is a cavity or a mouth bacteria issue, it can be taken care of. He just needs to be aware of it. But the alcohol could be a separate factor; he should go have his gut checked out. You have every right to be concerned about his medical issues, that is being a caring boyfriend, and it isn’t just about his bad breath; it is about his overall health. And, I hear you, girl…I can’t fake kiss something with bad breath, I just can’t. Don’t make a big deal out of it with him so he gets embarrassed; just offer to make a doctor’s appointment and go with him.

________

Hello, Chad!

My gay bestie has gone through a major body overhaul. He’s lost 75 pounds and goes to the gym almost every day. He looks fantastic. But here’s the thing: he is now dressing like a gym slut everywhere we go. His clothes are all tank tops and Spandex shorts, showing off his bulge with his ass almost literally hanging out. He wears this to dinner, to the movies, and everywhere we go. I’m glad he’s proud of his new body, but sometimes it is really over the top with his dick clearly on display. I feel that it is extremely inappropriate, especially when we are out of the gay clubs in public with families around. What should I tell him?

Bulging Buddy

Dear Bulging Buddy,

God, I wish I had a hot friend like yours. I love looking at freeballers and VPLs, lol. But, as with everything, there is a time and a place for certain fashion looks. You wouldn’t wear a Speedo to a funeral, although it sounds like your friend might. He has worked hard on his body and obviously wants to show off the fruits of his labor, and that is his prerogative. But if his dick is hanging out in public, that could be an issue. It isn’t about toning down the gayness; it is about propriety. Dressing like that to Weho is fun and sexy, dressing like that to a family reunion is not. There are so many ways he can show off his body that are fashionable. Tailored pants, close-cut shirts, etc. There’s a subtle way to dress and still show off your bulge and exude sexuality. A guy in a tight pair of dress pants gets us going as much as a guy flopping around in nylon shorts. He probably hasn’t gone shopping for his new body, and the gym clothes are what have become comfortable and natural for him. Offer to go shopping with him, pick out new outfits for you both. Just tell him how you feel in a non-confrontational way, and then get out the credit card and go shopping. If he refuses to tone down his freeballing, you might have to be choosier as to what activities you will do with him. Continue to congratulate him on his body and his new physique, but gently steer him to filling up his closet with outfits that celebrate him, but that are fashionable.

Check out all my dating and relationship advice, it's a hoot!

Email me! [email protected]

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

Also, check out my fabulous line of sassy t-shirts!