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Blue collar. White trash. Scruffy. Bears. Homeless chic. You've seen 'em around, with their unkempt beards, visible body hair, and dad bods. They're the guys you hook up with off Growlr or Scruff and you don't tell your twink boi buds about, because you feel just a twinge of shame for finding out how hot in bed they are. This here is a celebration of dirty men with dirty bodies and dirty minds. You drive past them working on road construction, and you have to stop craning your neck so much lest you wreck your car! Mr. Man helped yer boy Hank here with some pics and vids of some celebs who fit the bill, so let's dig into this tasty feast.
This gorgeous slab of furry beef hails from Down Under, and we wouldn't mind being down under his prancing bulk! He's been around for several years, even winning Australia's Best Supporting Actor by the Film Critics Circle for Felony. He's appeared with Schwarzenegger and Kate Beckinsale since first appearing in 2012's Jack Reacher. And yes, he's gone nude in several projects, mostly butt stuff, but he does go full frontal in 2016's The Exception. In this flick, he plays a deranged shark cage adventure guide for tourists, committing his crimes and letting the sharks clean up his dirty work. Feed me to the sharks? More like feed me to the Bears!
Okay, granted, Hamm here is a bit more cleaned up than the others. But damn, check out that nipple ring! And while his sheriff character might come off as clean and respectable, this guy is about as bad as they come. Just when you thought he was Mr. Nice Guy, showing his endowment in sweat pants on a windy day, here he comes dripping with the most toxic masculinity ever put on the small screen. Eh, who'm I kidding, I'd still let him do me!
My personal favorite here is always going to be Mr. Meghan Mullaly, also known as Nick Offerman. In this episode of the hit zombie drama based on the video game of the same name, Offerman and costar Bartlett come together under the duress of impending doom and the basic need for companionship and survival. Offerman's character is straight, but that doesn't stop him from climbing into the arms of his bromance Bartlett for an absolutely emotional gut-punch of an episode. Okay, he's not full frontal and really filthy like he is in Deadwood, but we'll take his hirsute-tinged sweet nothings whispered into our ears any day!
Okay, this is a weird one. Hardy, always one of the most quirky/hawt men in the room, appears in the first episode of this offbeat British Discovery Channel combination travel show and high-stakes adventure competition. Hardy finds himself in Siberia in a wrestling match, jumping into a frozen pond, and finally, as seen above, taking a sauna complete with mildly kinky flogging. Showing off his amble tats covering his ripped bod and unshaven torso, it's almost too much testosterone to bear!
And for a laugh, we haveGalifianakis stripping down to a jockstrap, much to the discomfort of his scene partner. He often has displayed his bum, because bums are funny. But there's nothing funny about how damn cute he is with his bushy beard and basic body, ya just wanna snuggle up with and pet. Good cubby!
Oh, sweetie, yer hung just fine! I was left gobsmacked when Labine first popped onto the screen in this brilliant horror satire as the hapless Tucker, a shy nice guy who everyone else but his buddy Dale thinks is a homicidal mountain dweller. He doesn't go nude at all in this flick, but it's one of my favorites of his. He has gone bare-assed in several projects, and plays a gay doctor with body positivity issues in New Amsterdam, sharing tender kisses with costar Mike Doyle as his husband. He cleans up real pretty here, but give me sweat-soaked, dirt-covered, overalls-wearing Labine any day!
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