Jerking Off Roommate Etiquette

Jerking Off Roommate Etiquette

We get all kinds of questions sent to us. Trust us, we've heard everything. But lately, we've been getting a lot of roommate questions. We aren't sure with this awful economy, more of us gays are having to take in a roommate to pay rent, but you cohabiting gays are having some drama out there! We've had our fair share of awful roommates, trust us. We also had that one hot roommate who didn't mind a hot hookup now and then. But sadly, he found a sugar daddy and moved out. Sigh. In any case, we've been getting complaints from some of you about your roommate's jerking off habits. Who knew there were so many messy masturbators out there? So, we thought we'd take the opportunity to put down some jerking off etiquette when it comes to roommates. Some of this would seem self-explanatory, but according to some of you, it clearly is not!

Scheduling

We all know those times when our roommates won't be home. Unless you literally work and drive together, there will be moments when you will have the place to yourself. Those are the ideal times for jerking off. You don't have to worry about noise or keeping it calm when someone else is at home. This is the ideal way to jerk off when you have a roommate, when no one is at home. Simple.

Joint Spaces

Why do so many guys jerk off in the joint bathroom? Some guys don't think anything of it and will even take their phones in the bathroom and watch porn while jerking off, with their roommates just feet away. Is it just us, or is it a bit weird to use a communal space to jerk off your junk? You have a bedroom, use your bedroom! Joint spaces are not ideal for masturbation. First of all, fluids fly, and second of all, unless you fucking your roommate, you typically don't want to be in their cum area. Be mindful of using joint spaces! And if you insist on using the joint bathroom, limit your time.

Volume

If you must jerk off when your roommate is home, be mindful of your noise level. We love a few grunts and moans, and don't really care for watching our porn on silent, but we are still aware of making too much noise. Your jerking off session shouldn't make someone else at home feel uncomfortable or weirded out. Lie on the bed and put your face into the pillow while stroking your meat. Jerking off should be a private thing, not out of shame, but out of respect. Not everyone wants to know exactly when you're pumping your cock.

Clean Up

If you jerk off in a sock, for all that is holy, do NOT put those socks in the joint laundry or even near the joint laundry. That is just gross and unhygienic. Same thing if you jerk off into a towel, make it your own cum rag, not the bath towels. If you cum in a Kleenex, do NOT put those tissues in the joint trash. No one needs to be exposed to your crusty fluids. Dispose of it in your own trash and take out the trash often. No one wants to see a pile of used cum. We buy packages of small towels from Amazon and use them just for jerk off sessions.

If you have a male roommate, someone will be jerking off; it is just part of human nature. Just be considerate so you don't make it awkward.

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.