Ask Chad Sex & Dating: Limp Dicks, Hot Go-Gos, & Bulging Bosses

Ask Chad Sex & Dating: Limp Dicks, Hot Go-Gos, & Bulging Bosses

Hellooooo, Sexies! First, I complained that this summer wasn’t hot enough; I didn’t see as many Speedo bulges as I had wanted to. Well, now, here in LA, we are in the middle of a heat wave. This humidity is doing nothing for my hair, and I’m walking around town like a sweaty pig. Oy.  Be careful what you wish for! The only benefit is, there are tons of muscle heads freeballing in short shorts. Also, the heat makes all the boys horny, so my Grindr is blowing up. I just have to ask hosts if they have the AC on full blast. No AC, no dick. LOL.

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My husband and I have been together for ten years. After dating for two years, we moved in. We’ve been very happy with no major issues. Well, except for the last six months. My guy got Covid a while back and hasn’t been the same since. He is always tired, his energy is nowhere near what it used to be, and he never gets in the mood for sex. We will start making out and getting hot and heavy, and then he goes limp and says he just isn’t feeling it. The doctor said it would take some time for him to return to normal and suggested taking some testosterone. My husband doesn’t care for the medical field, so he won’t take any. More than needing to have sex, I feel rejected and not hot enough to stoke his fire. It is getting very frustrating, and I am retreating into my psyche, overthinking it. Like I said, it isn’t about the sex (although I am jerking off on my own way too much), but it is about the closeness and intimacy that we have when we do fuck. What should I do?

Limp Dick Louis

Dear Limp Dick Louis,

Oh, man! First of all, you have to really come to terms with the fact that it isn’t about you. He clearly is going through something medical that is affecting his body. If his doctor recommended testosterone, he should really try it. Without a proper level of testosterone, he will not have energy, and you can’t just forget about any bedroom activity. But you guys are in a relationship, and he needs to be mindful of your needs. It doesn’t feel good at all when your partner doesn’t want to have sex. Even though it isn’t about you, it is hard not to take it personally. And, there’s the danger that you will start to look for attention or sex outside of the relationship. You need to tell him how you feel and be very honest about what you need in the bedroom. Sex will always decrease after long periods of dating, but it should still be a part of the relationship. Also, maybe he is feeling the pressure of sex. You can try a more tantric approach to sex. Don’t just jump right into it. Try some sensual massage, making out, foreplay, really take your time in just exploring each other’s bodies. Maybe taking it slow and getting him into the scene without jumping right in will be easier for him to get into it. You have needs to. If he can’t get hard, maybe he needs to service you for a bit, making sure you feel the attention and intimacy you need to feel. This is something he needs to be willing to work on, though. So you need to be firm in what you need in the bedroom. And if you need a quickie, I’ll send you my address. I can always get hard!

___________

Hey Chad,

I have had a crush on my friend for so long. He is not just hot, he is very hot. He is a go-go dancer and model, and we’ve been friends for about 8 years. We never fooled around, and he never showed attraction to me other than a great friendship. Three months ago, we had a drunken movie night, and we ended up fooling around. We passed out on the sofa, and when we woke up the next morning, we had sex again. It was beyond amazing. I have never had sex with a guy who has a six-pack and biceps bigger than my head. So, we started dating. Romantic dinners, movie nights, and plenty of sex. Here’s the problem. He goes to the gym twice a day to maintain that amazing body. I just can’t get over the difference in our bodies in the bedroom, and I keep turning off the lights and trying to hide under the covers. He walks around the house naked, and I can’t wait to cover up. I just feel so ashamed that my body doesn’t match his. I also feel all the eyes on him when we go out. He is hot, and everyone stares at his body. I feel so ugly next to him and I’m sure the gays are wondering why he is with me. I just feel so incompatible with this stud. It is like a fantasy come true. He literally has been on the cover of romance novels. He says that my constant self-doubt is getting in the way of our relationship and is annoying him. He also says that I am sabotaging our dating because of my insecurity. He says it is not sexy and to get over it. Can I get over it?

Ga Ga for Go-Go

Dear Ga Ga,

Bish, get over yourself. I can’t tell you how many go-go boy and porn star friends I have who lament about the dating world, because people just focus on their bodies and not on their relationships. Do you know how insulting it is to just value someone based on their body? You guys obviously have established a great friendship. The best relationships are built on strong friendships. He obviously likes you. He could probably get dick and ass anywhere he wants, but he clearly wants to be with you. He probably loves that you see him for who he is, and not just based on looks. You do need to get over yourself because there is nothing less sexy than someone who is insecure in a relationship. If you feel like your body is not up to par, then go to the gym a little more. Or, just take comfort in the fact that he likes the way you look. So get some confidence, take off your clothes, and ravage him on behalf of all of us. And make sure you let him know how much you value him beyond his body. That will really get him horned up. Confidence is super sexy, so work on it. If he didn’t really want you, he would have just left. Pucker up, buttercup!

________

Hey, Chad!

I work in a very gay office. If you log on to Grindr, all my coworkers would appear as 10 feet away. We often go out to the gay bars for happy hour after work. We talk about everything from reality TV to sex. We all love hanging out with each other, with the exception of our boss, who owns the company. He is gay, but he never partakes in our social stuff. He remains professional. Did I mention he is super hot? He has that silver fox energy that just gets me going. Anyway, he has started a new habit when he comes to my office or I go to his. He obviously works out and wears tailored clothes that fit very well – his pants hug every curve and bulge. When he sits down, it is very clear that he is packing some major heat. Lately, he has started to tug at his bulge. At first, I thought it was just a tic, but he does it only when he is alone with me. He grabs it and is always adjusting himself. Is he flirting with me? Does he want me to make a move? I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else in the office, but I do watch him around other employees, and he doesn’t do it. What gives?

Bulging Boss

Dear Bulging Boss,

Ohhhh…I love office sexual tension! It is so hot…in theory. In actuality, it has always ended up in turmoil. Being the sexually liberated slut that I am, I have had more than my fair share of blowing the boss. I always end up at the unemployment line. It does sound like your boss is trying to show off for you. Or, maybe he just has athlete's foot on his crotch. LOL. He hasn’t made a move, and it shouldn’t be you who makes it first. He knows that being the boss and making an advance can get him in trouble. If it isn’t bothering you, I would just enjoy the view and pretend that you don’t notice. I love watching freeballers and big bulges, but that doesn’t mean I am going to reach out and service them. Proceed with caution if you value your job. Don’t fool around with the boss, and also don’t tell anyone on the staff; rumors will start whether you are hooking up or not. Along with his big bulge, he should be giving you a big raise for showing off in front of you. P.S. Are you guys hiring?

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