Going to the Bars Alone & Loving It: How To, the Queer Way

Going to the Bars Alone & Loving It: How To, the Queer Way

While many of us gays are glued to the phone and the apps as our way to meet people, there is still a large faction of us who like to meet guys the old-fashioned way - face to face. Gasp! If you've heard the chatter, queer nightlife, especially the bars, is supposedly on the decline. The dawn of apps has certainly made meeting guys very easy. There's also the increased pricing for drinks and the decrease in income; we are too broke to go have a night out with a big bill! Also, the younger generation has reported that they are less concerned with drinking - they are healthier or choosing other methods to feel good. Sigh. Where does that leave those of us who still want to go out? Well, even if your posse doesn't want to head out, you have enough courage and sass to go out on your own and party the night away! We know you do! Here are some quick tips when heading out solo.

Check the Calendar

Pick a lively venue with a variety of events. Whether it's trivia night, jockstrap night, or bingo, venues with activities will loosen people up, and you're more likely to start a conversation with someone you don't know. Be bold, this isn't high school. You don't have to sit off by yourself. Simply go up to a fun-looking crowd and ask if you can join. Just do it, trust us, it will work out. As we know, drag shows always get everyone going. Just be careful with those, because they can get very loud and not open to a lot of chit chat.

Take the Lead

If your wallet can afford it, offer to buy someone's drink. It is such a gentleman thing to do, and it's a great conversation starter. An added bonus is if you try something new and try the drink that they are drinking. If this might be a little tough for you, find out where the best happy hour is; many bars have some queer hour specials! Yasssss!!!!

Dress Boldly

Wear a statement shirt, or wear that sexy or colorful outfit you've been saving for a rainy day. Dress to the nines, not necessarily label-wise, but personality-wise. You'll get noticed, and it would be a great conversation opener for someone to come compliment your outfit. It will also give you armor for courage if you feel good in a great outfit. You are riding solo, you can be anyone you want!

Be Available

Don't get to the bar and sit on your phone the whole time! That defeats the purpose and makes you look unapproachable. Look around, take a moment to catch someone's eyes (two full seconds rule, don't be a creeper). If someone holds your gaze, smile, lift your glass, and give them a wink and cheers.

Don't Get Too Loaded

Know your limits. Have a couple of drinks to loosen up, but don't go overboard. No one likes that loud, obnoxious guy shouting at the drag queens.

Not every night is going to be a winner. Sometimes you will meet someone fun, sometimes you will just be able to say you had a nice, refreshing night out of the house. It's all good. Queer bars are still our safe spaces, so venture out and take advantage of them. Being seen and visible is so important right now, and you never know where the night will take you.

What is your advice for going out solo?

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