What Is Soft Swapping?

What Is Soft Swapping?

We've heard of boyfriend swapping, but what the heck is soft swapping? This is a term that has started to creep into relationship conversations. We thought we would do a deep dive into the topic, since we didn't even know what it is!

Basically put, soft swapping is when two (or more) couples are in a room, and they swap partners and engage in sexual activity, except anal sex. Nothing penetrative. For many couples interested in opening up the relationship or exploring polyamory, they will try soft swapping to test the waters. Soft swapping can also go by the name of soft swinging, as it is a gateway to living a swinger lifestyle. The couples engage in sexual activity side by side, in front of each other, as a type of parallel play.

Soft swapping can include kissing, oral sex, sex toys, fingering, massaging, rimming, but no dick in the ass. Everything else is on the table. When experimenting with soft swaps, couples are encouraged to sit down and make a list of everything that is allowed, so as not to create jealousies or resentment. Things can get heated during a session, so having limits nailed down before things get out of hand is ideal.

Couples who engage in soft swapping are still not considered to be in an open relationship since they are in the same room, and no penetrative sex is being had. Also, there is no emotional bond being established between the swapped partners; the contact and connection end once the session is over.

Swapping partners is a widely held fantasy, and soft swapping can be a way to add some spice to the bedroom without entirely opening up a relationship. Also, setting the rules for a soft session can build better communication and a stronger bond between a couple. More sexual communication can lead to better sexual experiences.

Engaging in soft swapping is not a guarantee that jealousy won't spring up, or that trust can't be broken if the sexual activity goes too far. But this is a perfect way to dip your toes into the additional partners in sex. Also, this activity is perfect for exhibitionists and voyeurs who don't want to go all the way.

This act started to go viral in the straight world when a cast member of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives revealed that her marriage was destroyed by not adhering to the rules set up in soft swapping. Once you stick it in, you can't go back!

As with any sexual activity, STI precautions and testing should always take place, even if there is no anal sex.

Have you tried soft swapping?

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