Ask Chad Sex & Dating: Throuples, Voyeurs, & Friends Divided
Hellooooo, Sexies! How was everyone’s 4th? I hope everyone got some fireworks in their bedroom. Even though Pride month is officially over, there is still plenty of Pride energy in the air, and there are still events happening throughout the summer. I love seeing our community come together, especially now. I also love seeing our community cum over my face. LOL!
Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]
Dear Chad,
I have been dating a throuple for about a year now. We’ve had a really good time of it. We spend a lot of time together on date nights, sex nights, trips, or just hanging out around their house, and I love my moments with them. Surprisingly, there has been no drama or jealousy, and things are going smoothly. The lease is up on my apartment, and they want me to move in with them. I could use a break from paying so much rent (we live in Los Angeles), and I do end up in their bed more than not. But I really love my space. I go back to my place and spend some alone time and time with my friends. I work a lot, so sometimes I just need quiet and solitude. Moving in with a couple would mean constant companionship, and I think our dating situation has been working out because we do have our time apart. Moving in means all the adulting stuff, like chores and finances entering the relationship. I think it would ruin a good thing, and then I’d be stuck living with them.
Throuple Thad
Dear Throuple Thad,
I’m trying to date a guy more than two times, and here you have two guys wanting you to move in! Jealous!!! LOL. I’ve been in throuple situations before, they haven’t really worked out because there were jealousies and not enough communication. I always felt like the third wheel in any case. This sounds a bit different. Your dating relationship with them seems grounded and with boundaries in place. You are correct, moving in with them would move it from a dating situation to an actual relationship. Moving in with one person, much less two people, always has its challenges. It does change the dynamic, and the honeymoon phase can soon wear out because real-life elements like paying the gas bill or doing dishes come into play. There are a few things I think you should do. First of all, you need to communicate with them and tell them how you need your own space and time for yourself. It isn’t a slight to them, it is just what you need in life to maintain your mental health. If they can work with that, perhaps you can put in certain boundaries in living together, like having your own room and time alone, even while living with them. I would try a one or two-week trial run where you live with them full time for that duration and see what happens. You may find out you love the situation and might be ready to take the dating relationship to the next level.
___________
Hey Chad,
I have a close friend who likes to send me nude pics of himself or show off in front of me. He is a model and a go-go dancer and has the most perfect body ever. He also has an amazing ass, and I happen to be an ass man. Like a major ass man. We’ve been good friends through thick and thin for about ten years. He has no sexual attraction to me, and there is never an idea that we would ever be dating. Even in tipsy times, there is no accidental touching or kissing. But he really gets off on attention, and that’s why he will send me naughty pics or pull down his shorts to show his jockstrap off for me. When we go out, he will dress extra slutty because he knows I like it and will show off his ass for me. I’ve also watched him have sex many times. Again, it is all about the attention, and I know he isn’t attracted to me, and though I admit I have jerked off to his pictures, I don’t have any emotional feelings like a lover towards him. It has also never gotten in the way of our friendship; we’ve been through a lot together and have been there for each other. My other friend says it is twisted and that my friend is taking advantage of my attention. Is this bad?
Voyeur Pal
Dear Voyeur Pal,
Where can I find a sexy friend like that? Give him my number! Seriously, though. It sounds like you both are getting what you want. He gets the attention and validation from you, and you get to see some hot ass and hot fucking action. It sounds like it hasn’t affected your friendship, and though yes, it may seem odd by normal friendship standards, it works for you. If either one of you starts to feel uncomfortable, it seems like you are close enough to talk about it. But just enjoy this bond you have. Also, send me his pics. Yaaasss!
________
Hey, Chad!
I am friends with two gay guys who are dating each other. I’ve been friends with them separately for years. I didn’t even know they were dating until we all happened to do brunch together last year. But lately, they’ve been texting me on their own about their fights and have gotten me involved over the dinner table in their squabbles. They independently tell me what is wrong with the other and then ask my advice. I feel like I’m cheating on them when I give them advice, and once, one guy told the other one what I said in a text, and even said that I sided with him. I hate getting involved, and I hate that they drag me into their fights. Their fights are never about something big, and I don’t think they are going to break up anytime soon. They are just a bit dramatic, and I don’t want any part of it. But I also enjoy my separate friendship with both of them.
Divided Dan
Dear Divided Dan,
Oh lordy, I have been in this position many times. I often do get involved (I love a little drama), but it always backfires on me because they use what I say as fuel for their battle with the other. But then, when they get over their fight, I’m the bad guy because I dared say something bad about the other. Sigh. Oh, we gays! Just remove yourself from the situation. Start by telling them in a friendly manner that you just don’t want to get involved with their fights and to please stop texting you about them or getting you involved in person. If they continue to text you, just don’t respond to anything fight-related. If they start fighting in front of you and try to drag you into the situation, just leave. I would also set up some separate friend time with each of them. Continue to build your friendship with them as individuals and as a couple. They will value their time with you and stop dragging you into the drama.
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