Ask Chad Dating: Prideless Gays, Doomed Dans, & Porn Watchers

Ask Chad Dating: Prideless Gays, Doomed Dans, & Porn Watchers

Hellooooo, Sexies! How was everyone’s Pride month? I hope it was full of fellowship, activism, and dick. LOL. Your guy Chad here didn’t do too badly in the hookup department this month. Yay for Pride! Pride was certainly an interesting month for some of you. I got a wide variety of advice questions. Gurrrlll…some of you are acting crazy out there. Keep it up!

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I have been dating my partner for three years now. We moved in together about a year and a half ago. I have no major complaints, except one. The sex is great, the romance is spot on, and the friendship is very strong. I consider him one of my best friends. My complaint is this. He is too Prideful. God, this sounds terrible, even saying it. He insists on wearing Pride flag stuff everywhere, he’s put Pride stickers on his car, and he put a Pride flag out on the house. He wears a Pride wristband, pins, and t-shirts everywhere we go. I get being out and proud, but this is taking it to a different level, and it’s just gaudy and comes across as tacky rather than Prideful. What can I do?

Prideless Pat

Dear Prideless Pat,

Congrats, I have never in my life gotten an advice question like this. LOL. Have we gotten so comfortable in our Pride that we are more concerned if a Pride flag matches our outfit than what the meaning is? I’m half kidding. Is there such a thing as having too much Pride? During this Pride month, I have heard of people’s homes and cars being vandalized because there has been a Pride flag or sticker displayed. Are you afraid for your safety? If I’m reading correctly, that’s not what is happening. I once dated a guy who was (and still is) obsessed with Snoopy. His whole house, clothing, and even his office were dripping with Snoopy stuff. It was a bit much. We couldn’t move in together because he wouldn’t put any of it away, and I had no place for my Barbie collection. Ha! But I had to understand the root of why he loved and needed Snoopy stuff around so much. It had to do with his childhood and the memories it had, especially since his family is gone. He felt safe and loved with that stuff. Find out why your boyfriend finds it so necessary to display his Pride. I bet there’s more going on than just wanting to fly a rainbow flag. When dating someone, there is a healthy medium for everything, and there needs to be a compromise. But you tread on thin ice if you are trying to curb someone’s Pride. Maybe it is you who has a deep-seated fear of being out and proud? Do you feel embarrassed? Just have a conversation with him and yourself, and find out what is really going on. Happy Pride, Bish!

___________

Hey Chad,

I have been dating my man for three years now. He is super busy, and I am super busy. We see each other about two or three times a week. We have been trying to spend the entire weekends together over the last few months. Here’s the thing: after more than a couple of days together, we really get on each other’s nerves. We are opposites in so many ways, and we are fixed in our own way of doing things, so we clash. We don’t feel the need to move in together, we love each other for sure, and I’m not looking to break up, but is this a doomed relationship? What do you say?

Doomed Dan

Dear Doomed Dan,

What’s the saying, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? You don’t need to conform your relationship to what the “normal” standards are. If you love each other and have been fine seeing each other for a limited time per week, then that works for you! I know married gays who sleep in separate bedrooms, I know guys who have been together for more than a decade who don’t live together. Some relationships thrive on not being together all the time. So just do what works for you. Where it may become an issue is when life challenges start popping up, like health, family issues, and financial issues, where you might have to come together in a closer and more constant way. But for now, just do what has worked for you, as long as both of your needs are being met. And if you are free and are hung, give me a call. You’d only have to see me once a week. LOL.

________

Hey, Chad!

After 42 years of being gay, I’ve started to watch straight porn. Like a lot of it! Many times a day. A while back, I got a pop up ad featuring one of my favorite porn stars doing straight stuff and I clicked on it. Well, I went down a rabbit hole and now I can’t seem to get enough. I’m not straight, I’m not bi. I have been dating men since day one and have no intention of stopping. What is wrong with me? I can’t stop watching it!

Porn Queery

Dear Porn Queery,

I don’t want to prolong toxic themes in our queer culture, but straight men are hot, straight male fantasies are hot. Look, coming out for most of us wasn’t easy, and when we first started noticing that we were attracted to men, it was probably because of all the hot straight guys around us. Those were our first crushes. So it stands to reason that there will always be an element of attraction towards straight guys. Chances are, you are focusing on the guy in this straight porn. There is a different energy and there is an eroticism when you watch a hot guy get passionate in straight porn. There’s a different aesthetic and it is a change from the gay porn we watch over and over. I think you’ll eventually level out and go back to mixing it up with some gay porn watching. For now, just enjoy it and explore! Porn is there to explore our fantasies. I watch plenty of porn involving things I would never do in real life. Grab a box of Kleenex and go for it!

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