How To Handle Rejection, the Fleshbot Gay Way

How To Handle Rejection, the Fleshbot Gay Way

Dating is hard enough, but gay dating? That can get to a whole different level, cause some of us gays are mean girls when it comes to rejection. Is it a stereotype, or can gay guys just be a bit meaner when it comes to mating and dating? We have the image that we are superficial and quick to cut someone down with a sassy one-liner put down. Well, we've done it and we've been victims of it, so maybe there's some truth to it.

Being the brunt of gay rejection is never fun. Whether it's being blocked on Grindr after sending our nudes, the guy at the gym saying no to hanging out post-workout, the twunk at the bar rolling his eyes when you approach him, the hung guy at the sex club who shakes his head no and moves on to the next guy, or guy you've only been dating for two weeks who just ghosts you...it can be a lot. And even though most of us gays think the world revolves around us, sometimes the rejection really isn't about us. In any case, rejection happens to everyone, no matter how fit, how rich, how young, how hung, or how fabulous you are, so take heart and move on. Don't let the power of rejection get in your way.

First of all, give yourself kudos for putting yourself out there. It takes a lot of confidence to get the nerve up to approach a fellow gay, whether it's for sex or dating, it takes some guts. So that's big, don't let rejection put that kind of courage to an end. You won't know unless you ask, and you might miss out on something great if you never approach them in the first place. The worst thing that can happen is that someone says no. Their loss.

You don't have to hide your feelings when being rejected or broken up with. Let yourself go through those feelings of hurt, anger, and disappointment. Wallow in it for a bit to get through it, acknowledge it, and then pull up your pants and get back into the swing of things. We are so often told that we should hide our sadness or emotions, nope, embrace it and make a musical out of it, just make sure that musical has a final act.

No one is perfect, and not everyone is everyone's cup of tea. Don't sit there and pick apart all of the things that are supposedly wrong with you. Are you too fat? Are you too short? Are you not cool enough? Are you not funny enough? Don't sweat it. Everyone has their likes, and so do you, and not everyone is going to be open-minded when it comes to what they are looking for. It's not all about you. Confidence is perhaps the sexiest thing about a guy (other than an 800 credit score), so don't internalize it all and move on. You are fabulous the way you are, so celebrate it and find someone who sees that.

Stay cute. Some of us gay men out there get very vindictive when we get rejected. They turn against the guy who said "no" and start reading them for filth or start bad-talking them. That isn't a cute look. Just cause someone doesn't want to date you or jump your bones doesn't mean they are a bad person. They just aren't for you.

Above all, stick to your guns and don't compromise what you are looking for or what you need in a relationship just to avoid rejection. You can't have your wins if you don't have your losses; it is a part of gay dating life, so get ready to rumble, you got this.

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