Want to Try Fisting?

Want to Try Fisting?

Fisting in the gay community has been around for awhile. It has always been seen as a very taboo sex act, regulated to only the most advanced of BDSM participants. Over the past few years, fisting has become more prevalent in gay porn, and not just in the super kink content. It also has become more incorporated in bedroom sex, and if you check any of the hookup apps, there are a number of profiles that label fisting as part of their interests. Last year, Pornhub reported that searches for the term went up 179%. Fisting is now being talked about openly, and is not just seen as an aggressive kink act, but as an act that represents a strong intimacy bond between the fister and the fistee.

Fans of the act say that the increased pain and pleasure factor, the extreme stretching that takes place in the anus, and the communication that needs to happen between the two men builds an intense intimacy that increases the sensuality. Straight folk participate in fisting as well, but it is prevalent in the gay community.

There are misconceptions about fisting that have kept some people away from it. Contrary to popular opinion, if you get fisted, your anus will not permanently stay stretched. You won't become a loose, gaping hole of a bottom if you engage. Also, the act doesn't have to hurt. Some enjoy the pain that can come with rough and rapid fisting, but it can also be done slowly and with enough lube and resistance that can it a solely pleasurable experience.

So you want to try it out? There are some things you should keep in mind.

Do a little pre-sex checklist. First of all, make sure the person who is doing the penetration has clean hands and fingers, fingernails are cut and filed, and any jewelry or other foreign objects are put away. Anything with a hard edge can tear the anal wall. For first timers on either end, rubber gloves are recommended. Hand sanitizers with no harsh chemicals can also be used to ensure hygiene. Even with such precautions, there is a risk that you can tear your colorectal wall. Some spotting may be natural, but any continued spotting or increased blood flow means you should stop and see what's happening before continuing.

This goes without saying, but lube is key. Spend on the good stuff, and don't skimp. The more lube, the easier it is going to be to relax into the act. For this type of activity, the thicker the lube, the better. Also, make sure you lay down plenty of towels, or a rubber sheet, or some other pad under a wide area under the one being fisted. With all that lube and anal play, there can be a mess. Also, someone who is being penetrated at that level may inadvertently pee by accident (or on purpose).

Just like doing anything different in the bedroom, you need to communicate with the guy you are playing with. Set up boundaries, a safe word, and other rules and communication standards so that you both know how things are progressing during the act. Also, make sure you go very slowly. Just because you are are a power bottom and can ride a horse hung dick, does not necessarily mean you can bottom this way easily. It is a whole different ball game. Take your time and listen to your body. Taking breaks or stopping altogether are totally okay. Some guys may want to practice on their own, and there are dildos that are shaped like different-sized hands if you want to try it out alone.

Don't forget to breathe! A good breathing technique will allow your body to relax and allow you to focus on how your body is feeling. Guys who forget to breathe may faint with the increased sensation and feeling of being full. Your body will vary as well. Some days you may get a fist in there, some days you may get two fingers in. Don't force something and don't set specific expectations, your body will need to set the expectations and limits for the day.

There are plenty of gay men who have a lot of experience doing this. A good rule of thumb is to explore with someone who has done this before and who knows how things can go. Read up on some techniques, try it out on your own, and just have fun. You should try everything once, and this could be for you, or not for you, but at least try it!

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]