Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Fresh Meat, Hungry 3somes, & Tacky TikTok

Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Fresh Meat, Hungry 3somes, & Tacky TikTok

Hello, Sexies! How was everyone’s weekend? Good? Mine was…interesting. There was a failed hookup attempt, a hookup that happened but was terrible, my bestie broke up with his boo (they will probably be back together by Wednesday), and I had a guy from my past come out of the woodwork wanting more. There’s something in the Spring air that is keeping everyone horned up and crazy. I’m just sitting over here watching my drink intake so my liver is in prime condition to get through Cinco de Mayo. C’mon, foreskin hookups!

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

 My very good friend lost his partner of over 10 years to cancer. It was a very long process and very sad for us all. We have a very tight-knit friendship circle, that’s how we’ve been able to get through it. Every other weekend, we all spend the weekends at their cabin in Big Bear. We’ve been doing the same thing for years and years. Well, this last weekend, we were all surprised when my friend brought some young gay along. First of all, we didn’t know that he was bringing him. Second of all, we had no clue he was even dating again. We were all taken by surprise, and we were even more surprised that this guy was beyond dumb. He has the good looks, he certainly enjoyed taking his shirt off, but had nothing to contribute to our circle of friends and stopped our conversations mid-track with some idiot comments about Drag Race. Our friend didn’t seem to notice how awkward it was and how inappropriate it was for him to be dating so soon, and to include him in our private weekends. Should we say something?

Too Soon Tad

Dear Too Soon Tad,

Say something? Girl, shut the hell up and mind your business. Respectfully, of course. LOL. First of all, it is your friend’s cabin, you are just a guest, so unless you are helping pay the mortgage and shoveling the snow, you have absolutely no say in who your friend decides to invite. You aren’t the chief of the circle here, hoss, so just sit down. Furthermore, I know what going through a terminal illness with someone you love is like, and it is brutal. As much as you think you have suffered with this ordeal, think of your friend. If he wants to start dating again, it is not up to your opinion. Being a caregiver to someone who is sick is exhausting, mentally and physically. Your friend is probably able to smile and enjoy life again by dating, even if he is, by your standards, an idiot. How refreshing for your friend to have a break from his normal life. This young gay probably makes him feel young, and the sex is probably great. Why would you begrudge your friend some happiness? You think your friend is dating too soon? Can you imagine that long time he spent in sadness, knowing his partner was suffering? Everyone handles their grief in their own way, and if your friend needs this hot gay around right now to cope, then let him. Chances are, this dating situation probably won’t last, but hey, it is what your friend needs now. Also, can you imagine the guts this young gay man has to face your obviously tight circle? You don’t seem like the most open of gays, and he was probably intimidated, but he tried! Give him a break. Give all the gays a break. Get the stick out of your ass, enjoy a shirtless show with some fresh meat, and support your friend and what he needs, not what you expect. Also, give your friend my number, I’d like a cabin in Big Bear!

_____

Hey Chad,

I love it when my boyfriend and I are out at the bars and we flirt a bit and then take some hot guy home. My guy and I have been dating for six years, and we took home our first hottie about a year ago. It is really hot, we have some hot sex in a threesome, and then the guy goes home, and we go back to our lives. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does, we always enjoy it. But something is changing. Now, my boo is always on the prowl every time we go out. Even if we are at a gay gala or a non-profit event. He flirts with just about everyone now, nonstop. He’s always asking me, “How about that one, or that one?” It was fun and cute when it was random and not planned. Now, it seems like his only mission. Also, he wants to start getting on the apps to find some threesome action. I don’t want to do that. I don’t mind when it happens by chance, and not all the time. I love dating my guy, but I don’t want it to turn into a throuple. Can I put my foot down?

Thirsty Threesome

Dear Thirsty Threesome,

Gurrllll, your man is thirsty! You say you have been dating for six years. Even the best relationships can stall a bit in the bedroom over the years. Your guy got a taste of fresh man meat and loves it. Threesomes are hot, they are fun, but everyone needs to be on board. It sounds like it is a flashy new thing on the menu that you have allowed into your relationship. It is naughty, it adds a new dynamic, and he gets to sample someone other than you from time to time. What’s not to love? Here’s the thing, it could be like that new menu item that you order all the time because it is new, then you get tired of. Maybe your guy’s threesome fascination is just that. Or, it could be an indicator that he is not getting what he needs from your bedroom with just you two. If having constant threesome sex isn’t what you are looking for, you need to communicate that with your guy. Obviously, you aren’t entirely averse to having a stranger in your bedroom. So maybe come to a compromise, maybe you allow some triple action once or twice a month, and that’s it. If your guy can’t be happy with that, you may have some relationship issues. Just communicate what you want and what you are willing to do. If you need a power verse, hit me up! I like being in a boyfriend sandwich.

_____

Dear Chad,

My bestie is an influencer. We started out working at the same bank as tellers. I’m in new accounts, and now he is making major cash doing crazy videos for YouTube and TikTok. I’m happy for him, truly. But this influencer life is getting out of control. He used to limit his selfies, TikTok lives, and filmed dances to his house on his own time. Over the last year, his damn phone is out every goddamn minute. If we are out at the bars, he will literally set up his tripod and do one of those stupid viral dances. I can’t stand it. Also, I end up being in so much of his content in the background because we are always together. I look miserable, and some of the comments point me out specifically. I just don’t want to be part of his antics, and we can’t even go through a fast food drive-thru without him recording it all. Even our Drag Race watching nights have become opportunities for him to “go live.” I feel like a puppet in his world now. I miss my friend. What should I do?

TikToked Off

Dear TikToked Off,

I know that can get annoying. Sometimes I can get wrapped up in my socials and forget there is a real world out there. We all roll our eyes at those gays at the gym setting up their camera, or the twink taking a million selfies to get it just right, or those guys in the middle of traffic doing those dance moves. Here’s the thing: your friend is an actual influencer. If he is making money doing it, it is part of his life. But just like with any job, there’s time to be working and there’s time to be “off.” You also wouldn’t like it if your friend were an investment banker who was constantly on the phone making deals. You do have to respect what he does for a living, but he also needs to respect his friendship time with you. You said you are always together, so of course, he has to be working some of that time. Talk to him and set some times and outings that are without the cameras. He is your bestie; he will understand. If you don’t want to be in his content, just excuse yourself while he is filming and tell him you’ll be back when he is done. That will make him more aware of just how many times he is whipping out that camera. But unless you are paying his bills or dating him, you have to let him be, for the most part.

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