Grindr Introduces A Cum Calculator

Grindr Introduces A Cum Calculator

Grindr has certainly had a year. They've added so many bells and whistles to stay at the top of the gay hookup app game. This year, they've implemented "Taken On Grindr," which timestamps a profile's pictures to ensure pics are up to date and real. Goodbye, catfishers! They have also taken a cue from Sniffies and create a part of the platform for "Right Now." This function is a streaming type chat roll for those horned up guys who aren't looking to chat, who are just looking for an immediate fuck without all the back and forth. This function has been added in some major cities around the globe for beta testing.

Grindr has also added roaming features so you can plan your hookups while traveling. You can also scope out nightlife and hotel recommendations on the go. The platform really wants to be the one-stop shop for the horned-up guy. This week, they added a feature to their blog that we thought was a joke at first. Nope, it's here! They have rolled out the world’s first interactive Cum Calculator.

The feature is meant for the cum guzzler who pays special attention to nutrition. Vitamins, minerals, and protein in a cum load has been put under the microscope. All you have to do is put in the number of loads you intend to take, and the calculator breaks it all down for you.

We tend to be a bit ambitious with our cum taking, so we used the calculator to break down three loads. That's just an everyday average for us. We used the Grindr calculator, and it put it all together for us. Taking three loads would add 32 calories to our daily intake, with 3.5 of those calories coming from fat. It brought it to 390 mg of fat, 6 mg of cholesterol, 3o mg of sodium, 2.85 g of carbs, and 1.5 g of protein. There's a bit of calcium and potassium in there as well. Granted, you would have to guzzle a lot of cum for it to really make a difference, but for those of gym gays out there who calculate every calorie, you have to keep these loads in mind!

All in all, this calculator is just a bit of fun. But it is interesting to know the nutritional value of cum. A 5-milliliter serving of semen has around 0.5 percent of your daily protein intake, and 7.5 percent of your daily value in zinc. Who knew?

Grindr also has the STI risk disclaimer as part of its calculator. Swallowing cum can put you at risk for an STI. Also, did you know that some people may actually be allergic to semen? It can cause itching, hives, dizziness, and a tight chest. It also has allergens like nut protein and penicillin that can cause an adverse reaction.

We feel sorry for anyone allergic to cum. What a blow! (No pun intended.)

Check out Grindr's Cum Calculator here. How many loads are you planning to take this weekend?

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