Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Sad Sofas, Escorts, & Bad Gays

Ask Chad Gay Sex & Dating: Sad Sofas, Escorts, & Bad Gays

Hello, Sexies! Well, here we are flying into April, where the fuck did March go? Seriously, it seemed like January wouldn’t end, February was meh, and then all of a sudden we have to start thinking about Speedo weather. I’m too busy with my carbs to be bothered. LOL. I’m seeing short shorts and tank tops already making their rounds, so the gays must be itching for hot days. Not sure I’m ready yet. There are already ads for Pride season. I need to decide if I’m going to kick my ass and get swimsuit ready or if I’m just going to wear a caftan all summer. The struggle is real.

Keep those dating, sex, and love questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

 My boyfriend won’t get rid of his grandma’s sofa, and I’m about to put a match to it. We’ve been dating for three years, and we moved in together last year. Along with moving in together, not only did I get a live-in boyfriend, but I also got his family furniture. Over the last two years, my poor boo lost his grandmother and his mother. He was very close to them. It was a difficult time to get through. But he’s dealing with it day by day, but he just won’t get rid of the family furniture that he inherited. The sofa in question has been in his family ever since his grandma got married. It is French provincial style, has a tufted back, and has floral fabric. It is quaint, but it is definitely a grandma’s sofa, and it doesn’t fit the rest of our furniture at all. Also, it is extremely lumpy and the cushions have totally lost their shape and comfort. You can’t sit on it or take a nap on it without getting a backache. When we have friends over to watch a movie, they won’t even sit on it. It is that bad. I looked into restoring it and because of the style, it would cost about $5,000. We aren’t spending that on an old couch, I will tell you that. But he just refuses to part with it because of the memories. It is a losing battle. Am I wrong in making him get rid of it? Is this the sofa that will end our dating relationship? Help!

Sad Sofa

Dear Sad Sofa,

Oh boy, you are fighting a losing battle. Here’s the thing: that sofa isn’t just a sofa. It is a representation of his whole family, and he probably feels like it is his only connection to the loved ones he’s lost. Yes, the sofa isn’t functional, but it is probably helping him through the grieving process. Getting rid of the sofa would probably be a trigger and be traumatic for him. You have a few options. You can either wait it out or eventually, he will work through his grief and be able to let go of the sofa. It might be next year, it might be in five years, grief isn’t on a time clock. You can also save up the money and surprise him and restore it. That would take your dating relationship to a whole new level because it shows that you care and you have respect for what is important to him. Another option you have is to put the sofa in storage. Pack it up lovingly and assure your boyfriend that it will be safe. When you get a new sofa and get used to it, he may see that the sofa is just an object and that no one can take his memories away. But be gentle, whatever you suggest, this is a delicate subject and you might just have to have patience and deal with a lumpy sofa.

_____

Hey Chad,

I have issues with dating. I just don’t like to go on dates and I don’t really feel like I have the time to commit. Also, most guys get on my nerves. Anyway, I still want and need sex, though. My bestie suggested I hire an escort, so I did. It was fantastic. The guy was super hot, fulfilled my fantasies, was great at sex, and then when we finished, he left, and that was that, back to life. It was exactly what I needed. Here’s the thing, I liked it so much that I hired another escort the next week, then the next. Now I’m tempted to do it twice a week. Not only is it draining my wallet, but I feel like maybe I’m getting addicted to these rent men. Should I stop?

Escort Eddie  

Dear Escort Eddie,

Don’t be alarmed, lol, but maybe you are feeling a connection that you actually crave. You say you don’t want to date, but you obviously are feeling something by connecting with someone on the regular. Sex is great, yes, but maybe you are subconsciously seeking out some connection. You say you don’t have time to date, but that’s just what you are doing with the escorts. Sure, it may not be dinner and a movie, but it is time and money you are investing, and liking it. And yes, you can get addicted to the thrill of hunting for an escort and the thrill of getting your porn star-worthy hookup. But that will fade, trust. The novelty of an escort will get a bit tiresome and ordinary. You should try going on a date, or if that is too much, try hitting up the hookup apps and see if you find a connection, even for just a jump in bed. You may find connecting, even if just on a physical level, with someone real (not that escorts aren’t real, but you know what I mean) might do the trick. Who knows? It may open up your mind and heart to actual dating.

_____

Dear Chad,

I just don’t feel gay enough. There, I said it. I don’t like to watch Drag Race, I don’t watch Housewives, I don’t like going to the clubs, I don’t like snapping my fingers and gossiping, I just feel out of the gay loop. I know I am gay because I like dating men and I love gay sex. But my clothing, my mannerisms, and my set of interests don’t seem gay enough. Parts of the gay culture just don’t appeal to me. I’d rather go camping than go shopping. Is something wrong with me?

Bad Gay

Dear Bad Gay,

Maybe you’re just a lesbian. LOL. Just kidding. Yes, a large part of our community loves Drag Race and Housewives, and we love a good gossip session over bottomless mimosas. But that isn’t everyone. There is no right way to be gay, and there are plenty of guys out there that I know who are like you, they don’t feel the need to conform to any gay rules, and they are more confident and sexier because they aren’t bothered by trying to be something they are not. So, embrace the part of you that is gay, embrace the parts of your life that you enjoy, just be you. Stop thinking you need to be a certain way because you don’t have to be any way that you don’t feel like. Just don’t be hating on us who like certain super gay things, just let people be free, you be free, and that’s what makes the world go round.

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