Confidence In the Bedroom Is Sexy, Get Over Yourself! Chad Speaks
Hello, Sexy Beasts! It's meeeeee!
If you've been reading my column, giving out totally unprofessional sex and dating advice, you know that I get around. I'm not bashful and have had all types of encounters with a wide variety of guys. I own it! But sometimes I'll have a series of hookups or dates and some of you are acting like fools out there and make me want to shake you and, in the words of Cher, shout, "Snap out of it!" So, I come here to vent and share my bedroom tips. This time around, I'm here to talk about confidence in the bedroom. Get over yourself if you want to have really great sex. Here's what I'm talking about.
Gay porn, queer influencers, and Hollywood have told us over and over what the ideal body is, what the ideal man is. Well, if you look at the reality around you, that isn't what is really happening on the ground level. Yes, many of us gays put a lot of effort into our looks, sometimes too much effort but I digress. Hours are spent in the gym, hundreds of dollars spent on Botox and skincare, and even more money on tight-fitting outfits to wear at Sunday Funday. But that isn't all of us, and sometimes, all of that extra-ness doesn't matter once you are in the bedroom. Again, it is about confidence in the bedroom.
I will tell you from a lot (and I do mean a lot!) of experience, that some of the most ripped, fit guys I've been with are some of the worst lays I've had. They are so concerned about their looks and body, they forget how to actually fuck. Sometimes I've taken home the hottest hottie at the gym to have him work back and forth like a robot with no flexibility or passion. Boring! Being what is perfect according to gay pressure is never attainable, and it isn't what really counts in the bedroom. If you are worried about those extra pounds or average size dick or breakout on your face, get over it! Chances are, whoever you are with is worrying about their small flaws to even notice. Confidence in the bedroom is always key and if you approach your encounter with heightened passion and bravado, the sex will be so good that no one will be focusing on what you consider major flaws.
Don't overthink things. I have been with guys who are totally in their head and so much so, they aren't in the moment. That makes it hard to connect and a bit awkward. Focus on your partner, focus on giving good sex, focus on the moment, and stop trying too hard. Confidence in the bedroom comes from being in the moment.
I have been with many guys who obviously have body issues. Hey, if you are ashamed of your body, either go to the gym or get over it. The truth is, most of us put more body pressure on ourselves than we do on other people. If the personality and sex is good, body flaws can become inconsequential. Also, there is someone out there for everyone. You might think a certain type of guy won't be into you, and sometimes that is the case, but other times you are just missing out because of your assumptions. Confidence in the bedroom comes from a mindset. Once you have that self-confidence, you can dominate just about every situation in the bedroom as confidence is very, very sexy.
Ok, that's my bedroom rant. Now, snap out of it and go have amazing sex!
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