How To Attend A Gay Sex Party

How To Attend A Gay Sex Party

We've seen gay sex parties depicted in porn and in the movies as something magical, hot, and well-choreographed. In reality, they can be a bit awkward and anxiety-inducing, especially if you don't know how to go in prepared or how to navigate once you're there. Even though it is assumed we've all had some fun at an orgy, some of us have yet to break our gay sex party cherry. With the hookup advancements on Sniffies and Squirt, it is easy to find a horny gathering of local men to join. We've put together some of our tips and practices to keep in mind when attending your first group action event.

First of all, no one should feel slut shamed or guilty in indulging yourself. As a a culture, we as gay men have often had to hide our sexuality and social norms have taught us that gay sex is not normal and should be something to be ashamed of. We are overcoming decades of sexual oppression, so go enjoy. Group sex is not just about cumming (although that's a great part of it), it is also about fellowship and gathering together to celebrate and explore your gay sexuality in a safe space.

Power in Pairs

Bring a friend. Trust us. Find your most fun, most down-to-earth friend to take with you. This will help ease your anxiety about attending your first gay sex party. Having someone you are familiar with will help ease into a new setting and new sexual experience. You'll also have a wingman in case your first experience isn't going well and you need someone to get you out of a situation you don't want to be in. Also, if it is going well, you can tag team!

Pack Lightly 

Lube? Check. Poppers? Check. Condoms (if you use them)? Check. ID? Check. Now, where to keep them if you are stripping down? You probably don't want to leave your wallet lying around in an environment you aren't familiar with, and most casual gay sex parties won't have lockers or coat checks. Well-traveled advice is to wear thigh-high socks. First of all, you probably want to protect your bare feet while walking around, you never know what you'll be stepping on. Secondly, you can tuck all that kind of stuff into your socks, take off all your clothes and still have your valuables with you. And another thing, even if the host of the party says that they provide supplies, still bring your own. They may run out or may have stuff you don't like to use. Always better to have your own stash on you. Also, you are probably going to want to leave your phone in the car. Most parties won't allow phones and we don't always feel comfortable leaving our phone at a coat check.

Get the 411

Find out where the location is and what's around it. Is it out in the middle of nowhere? You're going to want to know that and have at least someone know where you are headed to. Find out if there's a theme. Some are for bears, some just for muscle guys, some all-inclusive, but find out before you go to make sure it's your cup of tea. Find out of there is booze and if you need to bring your own or if it is booze-free. Also, make sure what substances are allowed. Some of us don't want to be fucking party-n-play guys. Some parties have a dress code, some allow you to walk around dressed, and some make you strip down totally nude. Make sure you are in your comfort zone. Are you a voyeur? Some parties are play only, no looky-loos. Some parties are bareback only so if you whip out a condom, you might be thrown out of the party. What time is it? If it doesn't start till the middle of the night, chances are guys are going to be under the influence of something.

Clean Out!

We can't believe we even have to say this, but clean out! We've been to some parties where guys on the receiving end haven't been the best prepared and it sure puts a damper on a gay sex party (unless that's the theme). Even if you just plan on topping, come clean, you never know how the energy will change or if that really hot guy will only top you. If you have foreskin, make sure it's clean and ready to be unwrapped.

Hey You!

There's an unspoken rule at a gay sex party. If you see your boss, if you see your neighbor, if you see your church priest, if you see your friend from brunch, pretend that you don't know them. LOL. This isn't a reunion and most guys who attend parties like this are looking to be anonymous. Go ahead and engage sexually, but don't give them a high five and ask them how their week is going or if they saw Wicked. Low chat, more action, no recognition.

No Means No

This rule is an absolute must. If someone is not responding to your long glances or physical advances, or if they wave you away, just walk away. Don't prolong the issue, and don't try to get involved in a group of guys that are going at it if they clearly don't want you in the way. There are other guys at the party, just move on. Not everyone is going to sleep with everyone at a gay sex party. This flips to the other side though, as well. If someone is being aggressive with you or not leaving you alone, report them to the host, there should never be any unwelcome sexual activity allowed. It's also a good practice to say no to substances that you haven't used before, or if they haven't properly tested, or if you have no idea where they came from.

Follow Your Gut

Following your own intuition is usually the best rule. If you just aren't feeling it, or if you feel something is off, don't try to stick it out just because it's your first gay sex party, just leave and try something else. Not every orgy is made the same and there are some out there that just aren't quite the right vibe. It's ok to excuse yourself, no harm no foul. Also, don't say yes to sex acts or refrain from using the protection you want to use just because you feel peer pressure. It's about you at the end of the day, don't compromise yourself in the name of hot sex.

Stay Hydrated

Some of these gatherings can last a long time, sometimes hours, and you may be exerting your body more than you realize. Time and cardio lose their meaning when in an environment like this. Make sure you drink enough water, but also make sure you have your eye on your water at all times. Don't leave anything unattended.

If You See Something, Say Something

Be aware of your surroundings and don't feel bashful about speaking up if you see something that shouldn't be happening. Take care of your fellow gays and be aware if someone is having a bad reaction to something or is being used against their will. Just report it.

Don't Ask, Just Assume

Guys at a gay sex party won't be walking around announcing their sexual health status. Just assume you are putting yourself at a greater risk of contracting something and make sure you take precautions like condoms, PrEP, and Doxy. Also, check your body and be aware of any symptoms of STIs after your encounter. Many of us will automatically do a medical check-up a few days after an orgy.

Have Fun

Keeping these tips and practices in mind, you still need to have fun. Once you are aware of some of these items to keep in mind, let yourself loose. Be liberated, be free to explore. This is a chance to let go of your day-to-day identity and let yourself loose.

Have you been to a gay sex party? Give us your best tips and practices!

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