The Honest Truths About Grindr, the Chad Way

September 23, 2024
ALEXANDER

The Honest Truths About Grindr, the Chad Way

Hey Sexy Bitches! This weekend I was at brunch with a bunch of the gays and we welcomed two new couples to the circle of friends. Now, while I relish in being single and running around town sharing my goods and thot moments, I do get jealous every now and then when I see a couple holding hands and canoodling. So of course, we single sluts had to know how these couples met. Grindr was both of their answers. More and more relationships are coming out of Grindr hookups. All I get from my hookups is an Uber home and a used cum towel. This got me thinking about Grindr and my years and years of experience from using that app, and I wanted to share my unsolicited thoughts about the app with you (much like I share my unsolicited hole pics). While some of us can find love on the app, many find ridicularity. Have you seen our Grindr Fails? Here are some of the honest truths about logging on.

There's always that one profile that instantly grabs our attention. Either the perfect bubble butt, the bulging biceps, or the cute picture with a dog will instantly excite us. We send our initial message, or even a tap (more on taps later), and then wait for them to fall head over heels for us. We wait. While we wait, we read and reread their profile, and we keep clicking on their available pics, just waiting for that response. We look. They read it. No response. How dare they? We get enraged. Maybe we send another message. There's no possible way the man of our dreams isn't falling in love with our Grindr profile. Well, it happens. There are different folks for different strokes and not everyone is going to find you devastatingly fuck worthy. That's why the app gives you multiple men to choose from. There are a hundred other guys that will look just like the guy you clicked on. Guaranteed. Keep it moving. Don't dwell on the "what could have been" and move on to the next eligible tryst. Don't get into your head. Just move on. You will never know why someone didn't click back or even respond. Don't waste your energy. It's a hookup app for heaven's sake.

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Taps. Girl. Taps. Just like "pokes" on Facebook, it was meant to be a cute way of saying hello without actually saying hello. It was meant to be an online wink or an interested nod, like we used to do at the bars. But winks can turn creepy. First of all, a Grindr tap means you are interested without telling him you are interested. Is there anything as unsexy as a lack of confidence or a waste of time? If you are hesitating about sending a direct hello because you think you aren't at their level or not sure how they would respond, chances are you are correct and a weak online wink isn't going to impress them much. Be confident, be direct, be bold, again, this is a hookup app. Confidence is sexy and sending a direct message (and don't just say "hi) can make a difference. Again, if they don't respond, their loss and move on.

If you aren't in an open relationship, or you are only supposed to hunt together, delete Grindr. I've heard some guys say they are just window-shopping or just passing the time. If you are in a committed relationship, that is actually online cheating if you are messaging someone or sending illicit pics. What might start out as innocent, will turn into doubts about your actual relationship if you spark the interest of another online hottie. Trust me on this, it will end up in a breakup.

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Don't send out what you don't want out there. I have sent out pics of so many body parts a collector could put together a Frankenstein's monster with them. If you have any doubts about sending out your nudes, don't do it. I have seen my own pics and body parts floating out there on someone else's profile, there have been attempts to coerce me into something for fear of someone releasing my nudes, I have seen my own dick pic sent to me pretending to be someone else's. I'm not shy and I love showing off so I don't really care. But if you wouldn't show it off at the Eagle during Beer Bust, then don't share it on an online platform. Private albums do help, cause people can't screenshot. But still, where there's a willy, there's a way.

Grindr can be fun. It can also be the center of all negativity. Feel uncomfortable about your weight? Feel weird about your nose? Are you smaller in the crotch area? Someone you are courting will comment on it. There are meanies out there who get off on putting other people down. There are gym bunny gays with huge egos who won't skip a beat to comment on your weight or looks. It happens. Remember, it is just a hookup app. The truth is, every one of us has insecurities. Putting yourself out there on a sex app is opening yourself up to review. Mentally brush it off and move on. In that same vein, try and take a moment and be kind. If someone messages you and they are totally not your type, simply block or say "Thank you, I don't think we are a match, good luck!" Save it as a canned message. Just don't be mean about it, what's the point?

Lay it all out there. If you can only cum when you have a little BDSM action, let guys know that upfront. Want to be a cumdump only? Share that upfront. Grindr is for sex. You know what kind of sex and kink you like, don't waste someone's time and take a plunge. You'll find a match. Sharing your bedroom fantasies is hot and it can lead to a great initial encounter. Don't be shy!