Olympic Men’s Shot Put Was Basically a Sex-Free Bear Run

August 8, 2024
HANK ORSO

Olympic Men's Shot Put Was Basically a Sex-Free Bear Run

Sometimes yer boy Hank here has to be reminded that sports things are going on. I don't dislike the Olympics; I'm just ambivalent. It's never been my thing to get glued to the screen watching tightly muscled swimmers and gymnasts doing their thing, no matter how hot the mainstream thinks they are. They simply don't register and once the insanity that is many an opening ceremonies is completed, I go do something else until the closing ceremonies. Unless of course I'm reminded that the Bears abound in a couple of events! And thanks to OutSports, I got my reminder in a big way!

Most Bear runs are a bit cost-prohibitive once you factor in travel, hotel, food, drinks, food, drinks, lube, and food. But if hirsute hotties and beefy buddies are your jam, then just go back and look up the shot putters from this year's Paris Olympics, and begin to salivate! Because they served up some tasty buffet meals in the shape of these burly, bearded beauties. We covered some of the classic cuties parading around in swim trunks and tights, and sure there was the pole-vaulting "pole problem." Now feast your eyes on the thick bulges, tree-trunk thighs, and generous scoops of man-ass stuffed into their chaff-free lycra!

Joe Kovacs (USA)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nils Ericson (@nilsericson)

I mean, come on! Are you kidding me with this hotness? This is his third Olympics, and he took home the silver medal this year. But with those bulging pecs and furry pits, he gets my gold any time! Now..."speak into the microphone."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Joe Kovacs (@joekovacsusa)

Tom Walsh (New Zealand)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Tom Walsh (@tomwalshnzl)

Being big may not be easy, but this brick s***thouse of a man sure makes it look fun! Can you imagine cuddling up to this daddy Bear on a chilly New Zealand evening? (Does it get chilly in New Zealand?) Couple his amazing looks with that accent and honey bear, we are wet as spring.

Welington Morais (Brasil)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Welington Silva Morais (@welington.maranhao)

At 27 years old, he's still a young guy. He may not be the highest-ranked in his field, but his intensity, coupled with a sheepish grin, makes him a winner in our book.

Ryan Crouser (USA)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by CITIUS MAG | Running + Track and Field News (@citiusmag)

He won the gold, three times! He holds the world record as being the first to win the gold three Olympics in a row. What! A! Stud!

Scott Lincoln (Great Britain)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by SCOTT LINCOLN | Athlete (@shotputtlinco)

"Look into my eyes." Yes, Daddy! Lincoln is a dark-haired Bear with the cutest belly you ever saw!

Michal Haratyk (Poland)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michał Haratyk (@michalharatyk)

Haratyk might have performed in the shot put event, but his IG is full of vids of him lifting a stupid amount of weights, and...well...it's the soft-core porn you need right now!

Zane Weir (Italy)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Zane Weir (@zano777)

Weir seems to be practicing Zen and the Art of Shot Putting. He's kind of the philosophical pretty boy of the group, but why don't we let him tell his own story?

Okay, sorry, but I need one more look at Kovacs!