Ask Chad Love and Dating: Bad Besties, Fem Beaus, & Jelly Nellys

Ask Chad Love and Dating: Bad Besties, Fem Beaus, & Jelly Nellys  

Hey Sexy Bitches! Pride Month is almost over! Does that mean I have to stop being a hoe? NO! LOL. How have your Pride hookups been going? At this rate, I’ll need crutches by July 1^st for all the action my ass has been getting. Happy Pride! Hope you all have been getting plenty as well.

Keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

One of my really good friends got a new job a few months ago and it brings him to Los Angeles (where I live) once a month. I have an extra bedroom – well, it’s actually my office with a futon – and so he’s just been staying with me. Here’s the thing. He’s a complete mess. First of all, I don’t really cook so I always order UberEats and since he’s here I feel obligated to offer him food too. He never pays me for it. Second of all, he leaves trash all over the house, leaves towels on the floor, and just creates a mess everywhere he goes. We always party and have fun when he’s here, but when he leaves I spend so much time just getting things back to order that I’m starting to resent his visits. What should I do?

Bestie in Question

Dear Bestie in Question,

As a host, you are always expected to put in the extra effort to make your guest feel at home. That being said, this has gone far beyond just being a casual visitor. He’s become a monthly fixture and can be classified as a roommate. Your hosting duties are over, you’ve already done your part. If he’s visiting for work, his work should be providing him with a hotel. If not, he should be considerate of using your space, friend or not. Before his next visit, you need to set some ground rules. He should be reimbursing you for food at least, if not throwing you a few extra bucks for the free bed.  If your office is at home, it sounds like you work from home and that is your sanctuary. Having a disruptive guest in your home that is also your workspace just ruins the flow and creates a weird atmosphere. Next time he’s coming to town, tell him you already have a guest and see what other options he has. Or set some strict rules. If he’s a great he’ll realize the imposition he’s become and change his ways. If he pouts or doesn’t comply, maybe he’s not such a great friend. P.S. Do you know what his credit score or dick size is? I have a pull-out sofa. LOL.

_____

Hey Chad,

I’ve been dating this guy who is super sweet and sexy, we really are getting closer. The issue is, he’s just been through a long-term relationship breakup and because of finances is still living with his ex. They are totally over and I’m not jealous in the least, that isn’t the issue. The thing is that his ex is very masculine, like very straight passing. I am more on the feminine side. I don’t feel threatened by their relationship, they are still friends, but I am very self-conscious about my fem ways in relation to how manly his ex is. I mean they were together for 8 years. Sometimes I feel like I need to butch it up just to make my guy happy. And he’s always wanting to do sports-related dates, wants to go camping, and loves going to straight bars. That is totally not me. Any advice?

Fem Beau

Dear Fem Beau,

Gurrrllll…never apologize for being fem. As gay men, we are told to repress ourselves while growing up so the minute we can be ourselves some of us just jump out of the closet with glitter and amazing dance moves. Never ever apologize for being who you are. You shouldn’t have to change yourself for anyone. Also, if you are getting along with your new beau so well, it doesn’t sound like he minds how you are at all. In fact, you might be a great change from his last relationship that ended. He is dating you because he likes who you are. Don’t feel like you need to model his last boyfriend, again – that didn’t last. Just continue being yourself and make sure that you do things that you want to do on dates as well. Just be yourself and take it day by day, but never change yourself in order to woo someone. It’s not worth it.

_____

Dear Chad,

My bestie got a new job and with that new job came new coworkers and with those new coworkers is a new gay friend. Here’s the thing. I CAN’T STAND HIM! He’s so annoying, he’s a typical Bravo queen and all he talks about is pop culture and Housewives. He is so vapid and vain and he’s just dumb. My bestie likes him and now invites him to everything we do. Then they sit and talk about work the whole time. I just don’t like him. What to do?

Jelly Nelly  

Dear Jelly Nelly,

Oof. I’ve been there. It’s almost like The Good Son. No one sees how awful this person is but you. LOL. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do other than hire a hit man (KIDDING). All you can do is tell your bestie how you feel and ask if you guys can have just you time. But you do need to make an effort and try to get along with this jerk. It’s obvious that your bestie likes him and since they work together, they are in constant contact. Try and find some positive things about him. That being said, plan some things where it’s just you and him, like get only two tickets to a concert or something. It’s a new job, so maybe the shine will wear off in a bit. Or not. You can’t really tell your bestie who to be friends with – it will just make you look bad. Sorry, boo!

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