This Bali Resort is All Men, But Not Gay. Sure, Jan.

June 26, 2024
ALEXANDER

This Bali Resort is All Men, But Not Gay. Sure, Jan.

There is an ad for a resort in Bali that is going viral, and probably not for the way the location had intended. Brought to our attention by Darklady from the Fleshbot straight side, this ad screams "NO HOMO" while showing us a bunch of homo stuff.

With the captions that read, "no women, no alcohol, no drugs, no smoking, no party, no video games, no distractions, no fast food, no hookups (yes, NO HOOKUPS), no scrolling, no Netflix, no junk food, no negative people" they want men to connect and network among waterfalls, the sauna, ice baths, and the gym to "grow as men." So, like literally the script of many a porn scene. Although the no to all the fun-sounding things (we are okay with the no women part), this sounds like a snooze fest. Then we saw the location and the muscled men and now we are thinking of looking up tickets to Bali.

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Found on a secluded mountaintop in Bali, the resort boasts six total cabins. 4 cabins for four men each, and two luxury cabins that serve as individual units. There are hanging out spaces for men to get together in each living space. Again, no homo. Bali Time Chamber states they are building the next generation of strong men by creating an environment where there is nothing to do but eat, sleep, train, and connect. Did we mention their social media is chock full of man eye candy?

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There's a private gym, a recovery center with a sauna, a jacuzzi, cold plunge pools, and a mountain-facing spa. So romantic. Meals are included and are very manly - fish and steak. And fruits. The edible kind, we mean. They promise bonding experiences that will last a lifetime. Bonding without Grindr? Impossible! You get a free massage (it doesn't say if you get to choose the manly man to rub you down), high-speed internet, and travel to and from the Bali airport.

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They emphasize that there are no couples allowed because it is a men-only experience. Uh, some of us manly men have other manly men as our partners. They also don't allow more than 4 friends from the same group (everyone still has to book individually). I guess there goes Falcon buying it out to film for a weekend.

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You actually have to apply to be invited to attend the resort. We started filling out the application, this Bali resort asks you your age and what physical activities you do, they also ask for your Instagram handle and a picture of your current shape. Um, is this really Grindr? We stopped the application process at that point. We don't need to upload our naked torso on yet another hookup, we mean, travel site.

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Most of their ads refer to masculinity and traditional values. Probably code yet again, for NO HOMO. We would love to visit this lush resort and see just how much these men bond, or if our application would be accepted once they saw our Pride photos on our Instagram. But, come on, look at these ads!