CNN Medical Analyst, Dr. Saju Mathew, Comes Out Against Cultural Odds

June 13, 2024
HANK ORSO

CNN Medical Analyst, Dr. Saju Mathew, Comes Out Against Cultural Odds

This CNN Analyst broke off an arranged marriage. Now, he's celebrating Pride Month https://t.co/r3Iub0TrSB
— The Advocate (@TheAdvocateMag) June 10, 2024

Dr Saju Mathew, CNN Medical Analyst and primary care physician came out last December, breaking his family's deeply-rooted cultural norms and aspirations by breaking off the arranged marriage that had been set up for him. As reported by The Advocate, Dr. Mathew experienced "some of the darkest times in my life" that followed the breakup and revelation, causing, naturally, a schism between he and his family. But this is exactly why Pride matters, and why visibility matters.

"It was not easy to break away from the pressure of the South Indian Culture & arranged marriage set up. But I did & I came out. I broke my engagement & told her the truth. It was some of the darkest times in my life. But here I am, living my life. You only get this one chance. Be honest & things will eventually fall in place!"

Arranged marriages are still the norm in India where as recently as last October, their top court rejected marriage equality. But they are becoming less so. Flying in the face of such tradition, for Pride Month, Dr. Mathew posted a second Thread relating to his story. He references the pain such a revelation can cause families, especially when staunch religious beliefs and cultural heritages are in direct contrast to the needs of the person coming out.

"Happy PrideMonth2024. I fought to break away from an arranged marriage set up & told the truth. As a #Southasian male & only son, this was not easy. I hurt a lot of close family members. While I am not 'proud' of being gay, I am VERY proud of my fight!"

Now, let's talk about that "not 'proud' of being gay" statement. Some folks online, of course, are jumping on this. Chigrl47 responds "To say that you’re not proud of being gay strikes a chord with me equivalent to not being proud of one's ethnicity. These two traits are fixed, consistent, and unchanged. Sure, we can mask, cover up, or deny these realities, but to do so only means we’re not being our authentic selves." Others say similarly, that he should be proud of who he is.

Here's the thing; yer boy Hank here doesn't think he's not saying he's not proud of who he is and how he's lived his life and for breaking free of the constraints of his culture. I see myself in his statement. I've often said "Being gay isn't what makes me proud. I was born this way; I did nothing to become gay. It's not my win." It's like being proud you were born White, or Black, or rich, or culturally attractive. You did nothing to earn that, to create that. So you don't get to own that with pride. But living my life openly and honestly, living my truth as they like to say, that's what makes me a proud gay man. It's not being gay that makes me feel pride, it's how I live my life as a gay man. Proud to be gay? Eh, not really. Proud to be an awesome gay person? Hell yeah!

So congrats, Dr. Mathew, and happy Pride however you travel your journey. Mainenant, qui est @francois.roelants, eh?