Ask Chad Love and Dating: Porn Boyfriends, Balding Boyfriends, & Gassy Ass

Love & Dating: Porn Boyfriends, Balding Boyfriends, & Gassy Ass

Hey all!!! How is everyone’s week so far? I’ve had the stomach flu this week, thank you cheap tacos in front of the gay bar! Hey, at least it’s a free diet, my summer speedo will be fitting in no time! Because of my stomach flu, my hookups and dating are on pause so I have to live vicariously through all of yours. Send me your stories! My butt is jealous of your shenanigans.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I’m a porn personality. I wouldn’t say I’m a porn star, but my work is out there and I regularly put out content on my Fans sites. I started sleeping with this guy two months ago. Now, we are spending almost every night at each other’s places and have gotten to the cuddling stage and the stay-in-bed all-day on Sunday stage. I wouldn’t use the “love” word quite yet, but I really enjoy my time with him. Here’s the thing…he knows what I do for a living and he’s fine with it. Well, he says he’s fine with it. In actuality, he really doesn’t want to know. When I am filming for a studio or filming content, we simply refer to it as my having an “appointment.” I’ve stopped doing collabs or events at night so that we can be together and it doesn’t make it awkward. Sometimes he does have to come over later cause I’ll be finishing with a collab and I know he’s uncomfortable in my room because he knows what just happened. He keeps saying he doesn’t mind but also that he doesn’t really want to talk about it. The thing is there are rough days in my job, there is drama, there are things that I need to talk about as part of my life, that’s just part of any relationship. We talk about his day at work, his office drama, his career goals, but mine we can’t just because it is sex work. What can I do?

Porn Boyfriend

Dear Porn Boyfriend,

Your work life is just as valid as his work life. It doesn’t sound like you are going to stop your porn career, so he is going to have to deal with it or say that he doesn’t have a problem with it and mean it. Ignoring something doesn’t mean you are ok with it, it means the opposite, especially in the early stages of dating. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” wasn’t the best military policy for us gays. That being said, dating someone in the adult film world does take some getting used to and it has only been two months, so make baby steps. Tell him how you feel, start talking about some of the simpler elements of your day, or what you are going through. If he says he doesn’t want to talk about it, tell him you need to. Little by little he may be more comfortable with it when he sees that it is just a job and that sharing your experiences, it may bring you closer together. If you don’t change things, you are going to start resenting him and the fact you can’t share your life with him. Also, if you are giving up gigs just to hang out with him, you will start to resent him for that too. Better make a firm statement and be open to making baby steps towards his acceptance now that it is in the early stages rather than months and months into it just to find out he isn’t going to budge. Find out why he is uncomfortable with you being in the adult industry. Does he feel inferior? Does he get jealous? Does he get grossed out? Find out why exactly, and then you can work towards those insecurities to get over it together. P.S. Send me a free trial of your OnlyFans. LOL.

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Hey Chad,

My partner of five years is starting to go bald. But we don’t talk about it. I noticed it a while ago when I was topping him there was this bald spot starting in the back of his head. I also noticed a bunch of hair starting to gather in the sink and the tub. He has also started combing his hair differently and is now wearing hats every single day that he’s not in his work clothes. Again, we haven’t talked about it at all but now it is quite noticeable. I know we are getting older, and ultimately, I love him so don’t care, but I know it’s playing with with his mood and confidence. Should I address it?

Balding Boris

Dear Balding Boris,

That is like talking about a boyfriend gaining weight, it is a TOUCHY subject! But, you’ve been together for five years, past the dating stage, so I’m sure you’ve shared many intimate moments and been through other difficult situations. Just come from a place of love and tell him that you’ve been noticing certain things. Just ask how you can help and reiterate that it doesn’t matter to you, but that you know it is affecting his confidence. If you come from a place of caring, I’m sure he will be relieved to finally get it out in the open and talk about it. If he gets angry at you for bringing it up, dump him and go date a long-haired model out of revenge. I’m kidding, calm down! There are so many products and services out there to help with hair issues, also many guys are just shaving it down and being proud of their baldness. Either way, if he knows you are there to lean on and vent, that will make a big difference. Reiterating that he is still sexy to you will help. Just for the love of all that is holy, don’t let him use that spray that adds fibers to your hair…we all know!!!

_____

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend farts all the time. He thinks it’s funny. At first, I just would laugh and go along, but now in year two of our relationship and living together, I am OVER it. He farts in bed, on the sofa while watching TV, in the car, at the movies, it doesn’t matter, he thinks it is hilarious and I think it is disgusting and childish. That last straw was that he farted at a family funeral we were at…not cute at all. Advice?

Gas with Sass

Dear Gas with Sass,

SO not cute. Let me guess, he’s a top? Top’s thing farting is so funny. We, the versed bottoms, know a fart is just a moment away from disaster. I can’t stand people who think that kind of activity is funny. ALTHOUGH, Google it, research says partners who pass gas in front of each other are closer and more bonded. It means he feels like he can be himself around you. But there’s a time and place for everything…a funeral is not it, in the car when you can die of noxious fumes is not it, and in the bed where you are supposed to have sex is not it. Just tell him you don’t find it funny anymore. Tell him in a joking way that it has lost its charm and that you wish he stop. If he doesn’t, just remove yourself from the situation when he does it. Even if it’s in the bedroom, go sleep on the sofa. If it’s while watching TV, excuse yourself and go to the other room and read. If it is in public, just leave him where he’s at. LOL. This will send a message.

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