The Art of Cruising
For those of us old enough to remember, the art of the hookup was not available on an app. We had to do it the old-fashioned way, in person, usually out in public - a club, a bathroom, a rest stop, even the alleyway. While not entirely safe or advisable, we pretty much had no other choice if we wanted a quick, nameless connection with a hot guy. Called cruising, it had an element of thrill that you just can't get from a handheld app.
Let's go back in time a bit. One of the first raids on a gay meeting space was recorded in 1810, at a molly house called Vere Street Coterie. What is a molly house? A molly house is a term that started in 18th century Britain and was a place where gay men and gender-fluid people would meet to socialize and/or have sex. This particular raid resulted in six men being convicted of attempted sodomy.
The art of taking hookups outside of bars and into public spaces really gained popularity in the US during the 1960s and 70s. The word cruising solidified as gay slang for sexual meetings started being used in the early 60s. In the 70s, gay men started using colored handkerchiefs hanging out of pockets to signify sexual positions and fetishes. Spaces like Central Park in NYC, West Hollywood in California alleyways, and Fire Island playgrounds lead the way with cruising being known about. A slight nod, a foot tap in the bathroom, and a grabbing of your crotch were all ways to signal a potential suitor that you were up for the challenge.
The AIDS epidemic really started to darken the cruising scene. The general public and police looked upon such activities as a health threat, and many of our community stopped casual sex because of the scare. The art of cruising was on a definite pause and often became riskier and unsafe. The fun of it all was taken away.
Now with the dawn of chat rooms and hookup apps, the allure of casual, even anonymous sex, has enjoyed a resurgence, especially with the advancement of HIV, AIDS, and STI health care. But as with anything, the hookup apps have staled a bit, and the amount of catfishing, weird messages, and men just wasting their time, the art and fun of cruising is on the rise. There is the fun of catching someone's eye, that sly grin, and the excitement of knowing that you are going to sneak off for a quick moment of passion. Buyer beware though, police monitoring and even calculated attacks on cruising spots are definitely a thing. Public sex and public indecency are still against the law, so be careful.
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Here are some things to keep in mind when you are in the mood to cruise.
If it seems unsafe, it is unsafe.
While cruising in gay spots is usually easier and people will turn a blind eye, cruising in not-so-gay-friendly areas is usually very dangerous. Sometimes the thrill of the moment supersedes the need for privacy and safety. Don't chance it. Go with with your feelings, if it seems like not the best idea or area for cruising, don't do it. Take the party somewhere else.
No Means No
If you are heading to a well-known cruising area, it is bound to attract a variety of guys. Some may not be your type, some may be too aggressive, some may be drug pushers, and some may be in the closet harboring all kinds of self-gay-hatred. You never know how a stranger is going to react. Feel free to say no if someone approaches you who is not your type or that you don't get a good feeling for. This sounds over precautions, but carrying mace or some other self-protection is not a bad idea. It also goes for you, if you make a move towards someone and they don't seem interested or say no, just walk away.
Keep it Anonymous
Just because you are hooking up with someone doesn't mean you need to share your life story. You don't need to take them back to your apartment, you don't need to exchange numbers or follow each other on Instagram. There is stranger danger and you don't need someone blowing up your phone or hanging out in front of your house telling the world you enjoy a night of cruising every now and then.
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Don't Get Addicted!
While hooking up casually can be fun, it can (just like using the apps) become addicting. The thrill of the hunt gets your pulse racing, the brief connection with someone else becomes intoxicating, and the anonymous factor can be sexy. But, cruising shouldn't take the place of actual connections, dates, or meeting others in reality. Also, the more addicting cruising is, the more you are likely to avoid taking precautions just to fulfill your dick fix.
Tell A Friend
Tell your bestie when and where you are going. Doesn't hurt to have someone know that you are engaging in a cruising day. You never know what can happen, and just having someone aware of where you will be can be helpful.
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Get Public
Not everything needs to be in the shadows. There are bathhouses and sex clubs that are spaces for gay men to connect. These tend to be safer spaces with rules and can streamline the process and avoid an illegal run-in.
Know Your Rights
Police entrapment is a real thing. Be aware and knowledgeable about the cruising laws in your State, they do vary. There are certain rights you have when dealing with public spaces and legal enforcement. But don't assume you know what they are. There are certain ways you can respond and certain rights you have if caught in a public space.
What cruising experience do you have? Tell us!
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