John Cena Gets Naked at the Oscars

We have to admit, last night's Oscar broadcast was a bit of a snoozefest. It wasn't terrible like some years, it wasn't great, it was just meh. UNTIL the magic moment when host Jimmy Kimmel announced the anniversary of the first Oscars male streaking incident from 50 years ago when actor David Niven was upstaged by a naked man running across the stage on live TV. Well...why not recreate it with WWE champion turned actor turned straight man crush John Cena?

 

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We have previously reported (after much research) and shared our favorite John Cena posts that show us just how he doesn't mind showing off a little...or a lot. His tongue-in-cheek way of doing it just makes us smile and drool, we don't mind a little gay-baiting as long as we are in on the joke.

 

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His Oscar appearance broke social media as every outlet (and many of the gays) went speculating as to whether this big beef of stud was actually naked on stage. Everyone wanted the backstage view. We finally got it.

 

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So turns out John wasn't really naked. Did we really expect him to bare it all before Hollywood's elite? He ended up wearing what they call in showbiz modesty wear. Modesty wear is literally a small piece of fabric used to barely cover the genital area, usually nude in color to add to the illusion of nudity. They put John in a modesty wear pouch that is affixed with self-adhesive. How do you get that job in Hollywood?

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While we love the modesty pouch, we love a good John Cean bulge, but so much a fan of the modesty wear diaper they covered his glorious globes with. Is that a hate crime? We know that he has the perfect bubble butt, but the high-waisted cover wear totally took that vision away. Booooo!

All in all, thank goodness for that little uproar in the ceremony, we were truly falling asleep. Nothing wakes us up faster than some male nakedness.