Humpback Whales Are Gay!

March 2, 2024
ALEXANDER

With all the bad news out there, we wanted to bring some humor and nature love your way. Humpback whales originated on Earth about 880,000 years ago but didn't get classified until 1756 by Mathurin Jacques Brisson in his Regnum Animale. The name changed over the course of a few wildlife journals and are now affectionately called humpback whales. According to the National Library of Medicine, molecular analysis of paternity shows that both sexes are thought to be promiscuous in terms of mating. The average life span is about 5o years, with some living 80 to 90 years old, that's a lot of mating! You go, whales! Even after centuries of research on these mammals, no copulation has ever been witnessed or captured, seeing the male penis of a humpback is extremely rare. Well that all has changed. The first humpback whale sex has been captured...and the two whales in question were having gay sex!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Openly Gay Animals (@openlygayanimals)

As reported, the two males were having a nice swim near the island of Maui, circled a boat, dove deeper, and started having relations. The photos, taken by Lyle Krannichfeld and Brandi Romano, mark humpback history as the first recorded sexual activity, and gay to boot. Gay activity has been recorded in the sea by dolphins and orcas getting in on the action.

There was indeed a top and bottom here. The male penis, as we mentioned, has been rarely seen, only during urination, when it came out of the animal's “genital slit."

Maybe these gay whales are into show tunes? Males produce a complex song typically lasting 4 to 33 minutes. That's a good chunk of Les Miserables. The species is known to be some of the longest-distance migrators out there. We know how the gays love to travel far on trips...it helps with the anonymity of casual sex. They are also seen many times breaching the surface of the ocean and doing huge backflips and turns...that sounds like a gay show off on the dance floor at The Abbey. Male humpback whales can weigh up to 40 tons...so maybe they are the bear community of the sea.

How long do you think before we get the gay porn version of Free Willy?