Ask Chad Love and Dating: Nosy Neighbors, Broke Bitches, and Almost Threesomes

Hey, Sexies! How was everyone’s week? I dipped my toe into the dating pool this week…like actual dates. We still ended up fooling around though. Had to sample the goods first, am I right? How many dates do you wait until you put out? The dates were good, but I don’t think I found my Mister yet. I ended up cruising on Grindr after he left. LOL.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend and I have sex a lot. We love it. Morning, day, night, it’s all up for grabs. Here’s the thing, we live in a big apartment building and unfortunately our walls are pretty thin. Every time we go at it our bitchy neighbor starts banging on the wall. She even left a note on our door that said, “I can hear you!” Creepy, huh? We’ve tried playing music during, tried being somewhat quieter. But my boyfriend is a moaner. And I also feel like we shouldn’t have to be quiet, but it really ruins the mood when she starts smacking the wall. What should I do?

Nagging Neighbor

Dear Nagging Neighbor,

She sounds fun. LOL. She’s probably just jealous that her coochie has cobwebs. Nosy neighbors are the worst. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of neighbors who have been annoyed by my orgasm voice. Look, you live in an apartment complex, you are going to hear things. That’s just the nature of apartment living. You pay your rent, you have your own space, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Now if you were waking her up every night at 3 am with your bedroom play, that would be one thing. That being said, having her pounding the wall while you’re trying to focus on the sex probably just ruins everything and takes you out of the moment. I’d just crank up the music, not so she can’t hear you but so you can’t hear her! I’m sure she’ll get tired of bugging you. If you want to be a nice neighbor, bake some cookies, bring them over, and see if you can reach a compromise. Maybe make them with Ex-Lax so she’s on the can when you get busy. HAHAAHAHA!

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Hey Chad,

I’ve been dating this new guy for a few months, we really like each other but because of busy schedules and stuff, things are moving slowly, which is not a bad thing for me. The only issue is that we are still getting to know each other, he travels a lot for work. But when we are together, all of our dates are usually going somewhere expensive. From dinners to trips, it’s really costing a lot. We take turns paying the bills, but he doesn’t my financial situation and I’m racking up the credit cards. I make a decent income, but with rent and student loans I’m not set up for five-star dinners or expensive hotels all the time. What should I do? Since we are still getting to know each other, I don’t really want him to think I’m a broke bitch.

Broke Bitch

Dear Broke Bitch,

It sounds like you are letting him call all the shots in deciding where to go on your dates. Be a power top and start making some of the plans, then you can control where you go and what you are doing. That being said, if you’ve known him for a few months it’s time to just be honest with him about the expenses. And not every date needs to be at a restaurant. Make him dinner at home then offer your butt up for dessert. Doesn’t need to be a fancy meal. You don’t need to run yourself into debt trying to impress someone you are dating. If he doesn’t understand how to date someone on a different income level, then it’s probably not going to work out.

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Dear Chad,

I’ve been with my partner for six years. We have a great relationship but the sex had gotten a little stale and we weren’t hooking up as much. One night during a vacation with a friend, we all got wasted and our friend told us he wanted to watch us fuck. We were tipsy and thought it would be fun. It was really hot, actually, a real turn-on. But now, that’s all he wants to do is invite the friend over (or someone from Grindr) to watch us. We haven’t had a threesome yet, but sometimes it’s just about to happen. We rarely have sex now without an onlooker, or some addition to the scene. I’m just worried our normal sex life is over. Thoughts?

Almost Threesome

Dear Threesome,

Well, you’ve passed the point of no return. LOL. Once you add someone else to the mix, there is no going back! Just kidding. But adding a watcher or a possible third does change the dynamic. Yes, it is very hot to be watched, trust me, I’ve put on more shows than Cher. Look, every relationship goes through a sex lull, and sometimes you have to spice things up. But if it’s all spice and nothing else, then the relationship has changed into something else. You guys just need to have a conversation, but sex always having to have someone else in the room may be an indication that there is an issue. You need to initiate sex the way you guys used to have it. There’s nothing wrong with a little outside of the box, or even having a threesome (or more), but it can’t be all about that.