Ask Chad Love & Dating: OnlyFans Boyfriends, Phone Creepers, and Monogamy

Helloooooo! Alrighty, the holidays are now clearly over, but winter is still here. While I love the bulges in grey sweatpants, I want to show off in a tank top and short shorts (my usual uniform) but it’s too damn cold. I just checked the calendar, says we are officially in winter till March. WTF? Someone come warm me up under the covers.

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Hey Chad,

The guy I’m dating lost his job about three months ago. Huge layoff at work. Anyway, he’s had issues getting a new job and he’s pretty broke. I’m helping out as much as I can but we don’t live together and am still in that dating stage (although we spend most nights together). His friend is a porn star and is getting him to start an OnlyFans to bring in some income (my guy is very hot). Here’s the thing, I don’t really want him doing OnlyFans and his friend wants to film with him and that makes me uncomfortable. What can I do?

Dating Dilemma

Dear Dating Dilemma,

I understand where you are coming from. But here’s the thing, you aren’t his official boyfriend (even though it sounds like you really want to be, or are pretty much there), nor are you paying his expenses. At this point, he can pretty much do what he wants. Has he hooked up with this porn star friend? Does he want to? That may be competition in itself. Sounds like you need to have a few conversations. Maybe either decide to take this relationship to the next step (sounds like you’ve been together for a bit), or take a step back and let him do his thing, or step away if you don’t want him filming adult content. Once you start filming adult stuff, there is no going back. I don’t slut shame anyone, I don’t shame anyone into sex work, but it is a definitive choice. You have to be ok with dating someone who films for OnlyFans, or start dating someone who doesn’t, OR hire him as your personal maid. Either way, neither one of you is in the wrong whatever you decide to do, but yes, you don’t have the right to restrict how he makes money. P.S. If he likes filming group stuff, invite me over.

_____

Hey Chad,

I think my boyfriend has been going through my phone when I am sleeping or in the bathroom. Whenever I leave my phone I always turn it upside down. Sometimes when I get back to it, my boyfriend will be sitting nearby and it will be right side up and sometimes the screen saver is not activated. I haven’t said anything but it’s happening a lot. I have nothing to hide, just some harmless flirting on Instagram that won’t lead to anything (we don’t have an open relationship). But it bugs me that he doesn’t trust me and that he isn’t just asking me to see my phone. We both have each other’s phone passwords so it’s not like I’d be able to hide anything anyway.

Phone Fucked

Dear Phone Fucked,

If someone went through my phone they’d call the police, the health department, and my exes. LOL. I have a LOT of juicy stuff on my phone. And a million dick pics…of myself. I like to capture just the right angle. That being said, I know from personal experience that when someone starts acting this way you have either given them some hints that you might be cheating (do you check your phone, start to laugh, or furiously text and then not tell him who you are chatting with?) OR he is deflecting his own behavior. My ex started accusing me of cheating because he started cheating and was trying to pin it on me. To his credit, I have cheated plenty…just not that time. Just ask him flat out if he has been looking at your phone and ask him why. If he is accusing you of cheating and you are not, offer to sit with him and go through your phone together…and then go through his together. If he can look at yours, you can look at his. It’s only fair. I do have something to say about your “innocent” IG messaging. Trust me, that kind of messaging can often lead to real actions. Maybe that’s what he is looking for. Just goddamn communicate…it’s so easy.

_____

Dear Chad,

My boyfriend and I are making it official! We are moving in together and part of that moving in together is our decision to be monogamous. While I’m excited to be moving in together (we’ve been together for two years), I’m nervous I won’t be able to be committed. We haven’t been fucking everyone in town but every now and then I’ve had a hookup. To this point, it’s been more of a “don’t ask don’t tell” situation where we know the other person probably hooks up, we just don’t know the details. Advice?

Thanks

Monogamous Man

Dear Monogamous Man,

Gurrllll…that’s a lot going on. Any move in itself is traumatic, the fact that you are moving in together for the first time adds more pressure to that. AND you are going to stop outside sex? Trainwreck! Just kidding. But moving in together does have a lot of trials you will be going through. It’s one thing to be hanging out at your boyfriend’s, it’s another to be together every single minute outside of work. The way he breathes, chews his food, uses the bathroom, and picks his toenails, are all little things you have to get used to when moving in. Not to mention the fights of what stuff to get rid of, or where to put your Smurf collection. You are adding undue pressure on yourself already calculating your monogamy downfall. Obviously, you moving in together is already showing a commitment on both of your parts. Why not talk to him and ask him if you can have a grace period to get through the moving stress? Celebrate three months of co-habitation with becoming monogamous, Lordy knows you will probably need to bust one out outside of the house after a few weeks of getting adjusted. OR, just try your hardest and just be open and communicate if you feel that you are going to go astray. Always better to tell him before you actually do something than before. If you need a last-minute hurrah and you are hung, hit me up on Snap.

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