Way back in the day (ask your parents — no wait, don't do that!), there used to be X-Rated films. They weren't technically porn, as they weren't considered "hardcore." But they basically were. Sure, they told stories, had some (later to become) big names, and some production values. Some. Sometimes it might be a matter of deleting a few seconds here and a few seconds there to get a more marketable R rating, but for the following flicks and filmmakers, they went all Madonna on the film board's asses and said "No one's going to change my artistic vision!" That, or they just didn't have the money to go back and re-edit.
Either way, we're blessed with a slew of films that look like porn at times with their X rating, but they're really not. And Mr. Man has them all, presented here by Hank's Public Privates. Here's just a sample of what you'll find over there. Oh, and if you're wondering why the Penthouse-produced, star-studded stunner Caligula isn't represented, well, that delightful dumpster fire deserves its own post!
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André Chazel in Agent 69 Jensen in the Sign of Sagittarius (1978)
As you can tell from the title, a lot of these aren't to be taken too seriously. But French actor Chazel has been taken seriously for decades, with over 60 titles to his credit. In his 80s, he still turns up in the occasional role, but he's probably not flashing his awesome dong like he did in this 1978 release. he gets blown and ridden by that fresh-faced young ingenue. But hey, it's French. This probably aired on their evening televisions.
Gérard Depardieu in The Last Woman (1976)
Depardieu likes to get naked. A lot. But then again, this problematic French actor has the kind of ego that whispers in his ear, "Go ahead, they all love it!" He's been dropping trou all through the '70s and '80s, even getting a handjob in the film 1900 while laying next to a naked Robert di Niro. Oh yeah, that guy's a small freak as well! Just check him out in the 1970 Shelly Winters-starring Ma Barker biopic Bloody Mama!
Divine in Multiple Maniacs (1970)
Long long before RuPaul hit the scene, there was the inimitable Divine, aka Harris Glenn Milstead. With legendary filmmaker John Waters and their merry band of pranksters, Divine and her cohorts have been rustling ratings board members since the late '60s. Despite having a rosary stuffed up her bum in a church in Multiple Maniacs, her brief nude scenes in this pale in shock value compared to what they get down to in 1972's iconic, ground-breaking Pink Flamingos. Folks, I'm not even gonna go into it. You just have to go find it for yourself. But there's a reason it's still shown in the occasional theater today!
Bruno Kirby in Flesh + Blood (1985)
Full disclosure, yer boy Hank here as always found Kirby on the cute side. Like, an adorable older cub ya just wanna cuddle. He co-starred alongside Nicholas Cage in the emotionally gripping Birdy, Robin Williams in Good Morning, Vietnam, or any number of films with Billy Crystal, not to mention a little film called The Godfather, Part 2. But Kirby, seen above on the right, also went full-frontal in the 1985 medieval drama Flesh+Blood starring Rutger Hauer. Just look at those low-hangers! Sure gets our flesh swelling!
Bryant Rigby in Fantasm Comes Again (1977)
Okay, so some of these titles are just fun trash that really are just elongated porn, but porn nonetheless. This Australian title is about a soon-to-be sex columnist who gets shown the ropes, and several other implements as the letters form the structure for playing out the sex scenes. Rigby, a blonde adonis shown above, is in this one orgy scene, and this is his only film title. Oh well, you can say you saw it here.
André Rouyer in Maîtresse (1975)
Oh those French, at it again! Depardieu stars in this kinky drama about a man who falls in love with the dominatrix whose house he breaks into. He goes all kinds of nekkid, but it's Rouyer, seen above, who pulls out all the fetish stops, subjecting himself to all kinds of BDSM activity!
Bud Wise in Star Virgin (1979)
Okay seriously, how was this not given a hardcore rating?! Bud Wise slams a chick in a car before they're interrupted by the park warden and he runs away naked. But there's blowies and cowgirl and all kinds of...eh, you get my drift. Just check out that '70s bush!
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