Digging Deeper with Dillon Diaz: Diary of a Melanated Porn Star

Get a Personal Look Inside Dillon's Life Through His Diary

In the latest Digging Deeper, award-winning gay porn star Dillon Diaz offers a glimpse into his life and career through his diary entries.

Dear Diary,                                                            November 5, 2018

This was one of the greatest days of my career so far I think. I nailed my lines, I nailed my scene partner, I think I left a good impression on the crew and the check has been deposited. It’s time to go home to my husband and see what he wants for dinner then fall asleep on the sofa watching True Blood.

Dear Diary,                                                            June 1, 2022

That sucked. I quit!

Dear Diary,                                                            June 2, 2022

I’m out of retirement! I missed the hustle.

Dear Diary,                                                            July 5, 2022

I did It! I wasn’t sure if I could but I did. I took all five guys and I'm not talking about hamburgers. My first gang-bang where I got to be the bottom and I feel so good about It. I took all the dicks and I could have kept going. I love being a versatile switch! There will always be somebody for me at the party.

Dear Diary,                                                            September 5, 2022

Why am I always hair, makeup, wardrobe, a pharmacy, and a Kinkos for these boys in addition to being an actor? Is expecting people to be prepared too much to ask? I can’t help that I’m proactive and I get the job done. That doesn’t mean that I want to do everyone else’s job too.

Dear Diary,                                                             November 15, 2022

Let me start by saying I love my job and the people I work with BUT (you knew there was a but coming!), I’m tired. I’m tired of my non-melanated counterparts going so much farther than me, getting booked more, paid more, and praised more. I’m just as good-looking and just as talented. All I’m not is fair-skinned but that seems to count for so much. I could be the most agreeable, prepared, and professional performer to walk on to set but I still will not be regarded as highly as the cute white boy whose first day it was and I helped train.

Dear Diary,                                                              January 16, 2023

I am beyond words right now. My hands are still shaking and there are dried tears on my cheeks. I was just awarded Gay Performer of the Year by Xbiz. I feel seen and valued. The past few months have been difficult on my spirit because I’ve felt the exact opposite of seen and valued. I don’t know what this means for my career but in this moment I feel gratitude and peace.

 

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Dear Diary,                                                                August 10, 2023

I am beyond blessed! I’m married to the man of my dreams and I get to enjoy my career without guilt. He understands me and accepts me as I am, which makes this the strongest relationship I’ve ever had. If we weren’t already married, I'd ask for his hand in marriage. Is It too soon to renew our vows? It’s been almost 5 months since the wedding.

Dear Diary,                                                              August 30, 2023

I’m procrastinating again. I should be studying my script for tomorrow but right now I’d rather talk to you. I mean — I will show up prepared…I always do, but no sooner than the last minute. First, I need to shave my butt, file down my feet, trim those two wild hairs from my right eyebrow, pluck the one hair that grows out of the top of my left earlobe, floss, take a few Imodium and get a full night's sleep. I guess I’ll just get up extra early to run through my lines again.

Dear Diary,                                                           September 14, 2023

We are off to NY to film a scene with an old friend for their new studio. I’m really excited to be part of something new. I’m also going to get to see my mom, brother, and just a few friends before it's time to come home. I love my job!

Dear Diary,                                                         September 18, 2023

I got to work with one of my crushes today. It was nice but not what I expected. It was mentally exciting to get to touch this guy that I’ve had fantasies about but I really don’t remember what the sex even felt like. He looked like he was enjoying himself though and the job paid my FULL day rate!

Dear Diary,                                                         September 19, 2023

I'm up to my third scene partner replacement today. The first one didn’t test right. He got the anal swabs but no blood test. I wish you could see the expression on my face. The second one got tested correctly but didn’t read the call sheet so he had no idea what time to show up. After an hour and a half of trying to reach him, the producers decided to find my third replacement. It’s the PA. He happens to be a performer who is tested and he’s here!

Dear Diary,                                                         September 20, 2023

There was a legend on set today. No really, a true porn legend. I was a little nervous at first. To be honest, I’m not even sure what he was doing there. I think he was there as a general mentor for the crew. Anyway, he didn’t like any of my pants so he gave me his. The first pair didn’t fit. The second ones did but I think I prefer my own. Nonetheless, I got to spend the day in the pants of a legend. I don’t know if my performance impressed him but I impressed myself for sure and at the end of the day does anything else even matter? Yay me!

Dear Diary,                                                         September 28, 2023

We are expected to look great. We are the fantasy they are selling. Why, oh why, did they just order pizza for lunch?

Dear Diary,                                                        October 2, 2023

What’s that smell?

 

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