Gay Friend Group Survival Guide: The Dos and Don’ts

October 5, 2023
BOBBY BEYOND

Friend group dynamics are wildly different from group to group, but a gaggle of gay friends can be even more intense! There’s a lot of personality, sass, and ass. Oftentimes, straight friends don’t fully understand us, and it’s because they can’t. Living in our skin is a different experience. Our nightlife, entertainment, music, fashion, parties, and other interests are sometimes very unique. Gay friends can empathize with us on levels unreachable by those who don’t experience the same reality. However, where there are differences in dynamics, there are differences in rules of engagement as well.

1. Reading is what? Fundamental! But it can also go too far. Being part of a group of gays can come with lots of friendly fire. Friends will often jab at each other, all in good fun. But you have to keep it cute because the line between reading and throwing shade is up to the interpretation of the receiver. For example, telling your friend “girl, you were getting passed around like the offering plate at church last night” is a fun read. But saying something like “girl, from what I saw at the afters, you’ll take anyone to bed” can be shady, and slut-shaming. Every group dynamic is different, and interpersonal relationships as well. But it’s always best to keep it fun and cute, or keep it on mute!

2. Sister dick makes me sick! Some friend groups come with couples, some with all single ladies, and most a healthy mix of the two. But this rule is pretty standard in all friend groups, don’t fuck your friends! It can start unnecessary fires, and the last thing the group should be gossiping about is its own members. There are so many other great dicks out there, find one that isn’t attached to your sis!

3. Contribution is key to a long-lasting friendship. If one or a few of your friends constantly host you overnight, in their pool, or their space, find a way to give back to them. Bring a case of hard seltzers, a bottle, or food item to your gatherings to show your love to them for hosting. If they give you a ride or you share an Uber, buy them a drink at the bar! Find little ways of paying them back, this will make them feel appreciated and loved.

4. Address issues head on. If James is having an issue with Jack, James shouldn’t discuss it with Jeff, Josh, and Jason before he brings it up to Jack. Settle qualms early and with respect. The only thing gays love more than fucking is talking! The last thing you want is the group taking sides or excluding someone due to gossip. Put on your big girl panties and tell her to her face what the issue is and come to a resolution.

5. Do your best to include and accommodate everyone. Not every member of the group will have the same or similar schedules. Some people have weekends off, some people work weekends, some work in the evening, and others work 9 - 5. If you want to get together on a weekend, suggest the plan early in the week to give people time to make arrangements. It’s okay to have impromptu plans, but be aware that not everyone will be able to make it. Over time, if plans are constantly made when certain members always work, they will start to feel excluded. Try to give everyone a chance to make it!

These tips are just the tip of the iceberg, however, they’re a great starter pack for long-lasting gay friendships. Focus on being the best friend you can be to your girlies, and they will hopefully return the favor! Groups take time to build and often change over time. People will come, people will go, but that’s just a fact of life. Gay friend groups can support members in times of distress, provide much-needed social support, and bring together like-minded gays to make memories and friendships that can last a lifetime.