AJ’s Screening Room: Come See Jena Malone Dom Hot Gays in Swallowed (Yes, Swallowed)

September 21, 2023
AJ SLOAN

A young gay aspires to become a big pornstar in LA. His sexy “straight” bff knows of a quick way for him to make enough money to ease into big city life. No, it isn’t butt stuff at a truck stop, but the plot of 2022’s SWALLOWED does involve a truck stop and stuff involving butts. Full frontal? Check. Hard cocks? Check. A dealer played by none other than a cunty gun-toting Jena Malone? Triple check. Fasten your seat belt. You’re in for a wild ride.

Swallowed puts the “body” in “body horror.” But the film’s writer/director Carter Smith doesn’t stop there. The story is a bizarre queer Odyssey that has its audience going through an emotional roller coaster that mirrors its protagonist’s. The “situation” that our bromantic duo, Cooper Koch’s Benjamin and Jose Colon’s Dom (yes, they named the character “Dom”), find themselves dick-deep in escalates to levels other horror flicks have yet to tread.

No matter how insane things get (and they get bat$hit), you never stop rooting for Benjamin and Dom. Not even after the mysterious erection-inducing pill that our guys (you guessed it) swallowed burst open in their stomachs. Yeah, it gets weird fast. You just want to see them make it through the other end of the gauntlet and get them into therapy ASAP. You also want to see them finally get the chance to quench the ever-present sexual tension between these two besties.

This also might be one of the gayest movies of the past few years, and we’re here for it. There has been a considerable and appreciated uptick of Queerness in the horror genre and we can only hope that it keeps delivering. Swallowed is unapologetically gay, with explicit displays of man-meat that out-dicks any HBO series. Colon’s pants are pretty much 86’d halfway through the film cuz why not? Creepy gays are sponge-bathing pretty gays. And what film wouldn’t be complete without a naked twink running for their life through the woods? It was a bit reminiscent of the Meat Rack come first sunlight.

When it comes to performances, M3GAN can take a seat. Jena Malone’s Alice is serving the sketchiest of cunt as the emcee of this muling operation gone awry. Her eye rolls embodied the apathy of Aubrey Plaza and the disdain of Jenna Ortega. There were moments throughout the movie when I thought she was about to break the fourth wall and call me a stupid bitch. A part of me still wishes that she had. Jena Malone is the dom top we never knew we were missing.

Swallowed is a great movie for many reasons. It has a little romance, a little sci-fi, a whole lot of horror, a heavy hand of Queerness, and a dollop of dick and ass. The film's porn-centric plotlines and full frontal, however, lands it in AJ’s Screening Room this week. You’ll never be as confused about being aroused as you will be with this film. That’s a promise.