Digging Deeper with Dillon Diaz: My Sexuality

August 10, 2023
DILLON DIAZ

DIGGING DEEPER WITH DILLON DIAZ: MY SEXUALITY

This article is about sexuality. My sexuality, and I’ve been nervous about writing it but that’s not a good reason to avoid it.

My sexuality is diverse and I’m not ashamed of that. I realized very early on that I like men however, it wasn’t until I was 18 that I fully accepted that and started to explore. Up until then, I didn’t have any role models to look to. As an adolescent, all I knew was that gay people got made fun of, verbally attacked, and sometimes even physically attacked—so why would I want that for myself?

When I found other gay people living happily and freely, it was a relief. I still felt the need to be secretive about my sexuality until I was in my 20s but that couldn’t go on forever. I couldn’t hide forever nor did I want to. I wanted to hold hands with a man in public just like straight people. I wanted to kiss my partner in public just like the straight people did. Why did I have to hide my aﬀection and eventually my love for another person?

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Times changed, and my willingness to be who I was out loud for all to see grew stronger! This was a good time in my life. I had freedom. I had a community. I had safety in the gay community.

Eventually, I started working in adult entertainment. I experienced the height of sexual freedom and expression, AND there were people cheering me on. They cheered me on up UNTIL I started working with people of other genders. Then I became a “fake gay”, “gay for pay”, and generally an aﬀront to the gay community, my community. I was hurt and confused before I grew disappointed and angry.

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I thought how could this community turn their back on me now? How could they be so hateful with their comments and DM’s? How could they be so narrow-minded? It didn’t make sense to me. How could a community who has had to fight for acceptance and equality simply because of their sexual disposition discriminate and objectify anyone else for their sexual disposition, whatever it is. When did the oppressed become the oppressor? And I’m not even going to get into gender here because I don’t feel qualified to do so but many of my trans friends have told me that gay men have been very cruel to them too.

LGBTQIA+, all of these letters are part of a bigger community but why does G think it is the superior letter?

So, since my sexuality has become so diverse I have had to re-evaluate what I identify as, and what I’ve come up with is I AM SEXUAL. In my private life, I am happily married to a man who I intend to spend the rest of my life with having beautiful, passionate man-on-man sex with. As far as my work goes, it’s really all about the sensations and chemistry (when it’s there.) I don’t care what package a person is in. I don’t care what labels they apply to their sexuality or gender. Can we have a good time together? Can we create something together that someone will enjoy watching? Can we help each other cum? That’s all I need to know.

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There is no agenda here either. I’m not single-handedly trying to turn all gay men. I’m not on a quest to make anyone accept vagina into their life. Do you cause I’m gonna do me! I accept that what I do is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok, don’t drink It. Keep scrolling! Keep loving men! I love them too! Men are great! Nor am I here to tell you that you are weird, wrong, or disgusting for your preferences. It’s all good. Love who you want to love, have sex with who you want to have sex with, and identify as whatever feels right to you. Watch whatever kind of porn you want. I support all of that!

I’ve seen other people like me getting harassed by the letter G and it gets me every time. What gives you the right? Why do you think this is ok? Let me be very clear—it’s not ok! Bi, pansexual, and transgender people are not confused, it’s not a phase or mental illness. This is who we are and just like you we want acceptance, freedom, love and to be left alone to live our lives in peace. We truly are more alike than we are diﬀerent.

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Me, I judge no one and celebrate everyone; please try to do the same or at the very least keep your toxic energy to yourself. Is that really too much to ask?

It is 2023 and there are so many other things going on that we could/should be focused on. If I started to list them, this article would become a book, a thick one. Sexuality shouldn’t be one, especially someone else’s sexuality.

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