Grindr Fails: Public BJs, Speaking Like a Top, and Hypnosis

Hello gorgeous gays and anyone else who stumbled into the room! I am back once again for another installment of #GrindrFails! This week, we’ve got some really fun ones! Someone is trying to suck cock in the courthouse! Are tops allowed to use exclamation marks? Is having a personality for bottoms only? And can you hypnotize someone into being a top? Is that a thing? Asking for me! This week is a wild one, so get to scrolling!

Don’t look! I stumbled upon this post a few weeks ago, and I’ve been topping ever since! It’s a tragedy! But I do commend the person in the blue chat for using this tactic. People always complain that Grindr is full of bottoms and no tops. Girl, I wish that were the case! Do you know how hard it is to find someone who wants to bottom? Maybe if I reverse the swirl picture it will have the opposite effect? Imagine I show it to someone and they immediately get the urge to bottom. I’d like to bottle that and sell it!

I am sick and tired of people policing other people’s language. What do you mean, “Tops don’t use !”?!? Are you unwell?! Is everything okay at home!? Blink twice if you need help! I can not stand the idea that tops and bottoms are expected to behave and speak in certain ways. I also hate that we refer to people as “top” or “bottom”. Sexuality is a spectrum, and we shouldn’t be so quick to put ourselves in boxes and label one another. It created an unnecessary divide among us. Have we become the thing we sought to destroy?

The man in the blue chat is really just trying to shoot his shot. Isn’t that what Grindr is for? I’m not sure why the man in yellow has such an attitude. He’s on Grindr as well! And if he didn’t at least consider a romantic connection in the courthouse then why did he even open the app? Girl, just ignore the message and move on. Or, dare I say, tell him you aren’t interested in a sexual adventure in a government building! Imagine a world where we communicate with one another?! We’d have flying cars and equal rights by now!

I hope you enjoyed these exchanges as much as I did! Be sure to follow the accounts featured on Instagram and DM me any fierce Grindr screenshots you think should be featured next!

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