Ask Chad: Boyfriend Friends, Boyfriend Loads, And Boyfriend Woes

Pride Month is over, can you believe it? June came and left my ass full of pride for the rest of the year! It was bus, club, another club, another club, no sleep, plane, bus, poppers, another club, more poppers, you get it. Anyways, don't forget to send me your questions, I am the only gay who gives a padam around here!

This week, your questions got me feeling all types of way. Keep 'em coming! As my Sniffies profile says, Nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I can't seem to figure out how to mesh with my boyfriend's friends. They're so fun, smart, and honestly really hot too! My boyfriend has so much history with them and they can talk for hours with no end, but when I chime in the conversation clearly doesn't pick up. They don't respond to me or what I say typically and it feels like they don't vibe with me. They've never treated me poorly at all but I just can't connect with them no matter what I do, so what should I do?

Sincerely,

TryingHard

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Hey TryingHard,

Hi girl, listen everything is going to be okay. They just don't know you yet, therefore they don't know how to love you! It just takes some time to build up some history with them and soon enough you'll be in on the jokes as well as the discussions! Just be glad that they're treating you well and the rest will come later. Also, stop trying hard! Just be yourself and things will obvi get better than with you trying to be someone you're not, girl. Don't be fake, and good luck!
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Dear Chad,

I think I'm jacking off too much, hope this isn't too weird. But I literally can't start or end my day without it. Also, there's usually one, maybe three times in the midday as well. Sometimes I can't even hold it when I'm at work and have to sneak off to rub one out! Most of the time I don't really think too much about it but now I'm seeing a guy and he thinks I do it too much and don't save it for him. And he's not wrong, I am used to doing it by myself so it's weird to acclimate to getting off with someone other than myself. How do I stop myself from jerking off and save it for my partner?

Sincerely,

Jack

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Hey Jack,

So there's nothing wrong with rubbing one out every now and then but girl, you cannot be seriously choosing that over sex with your lover. I mean listen, here's the thing. If you truly love this guy, you have to make sacrifices. The easiest one to make is saving a load for him. Now if he isn't wanting to give it up then that jerk session is on him, but if he is and you deny him then it just makes you look like you'd rather be solo. So that's a question for you to decide, to jerk or not to jerk. Eventually, you'll rewire your sexy part of the brain to be able to get off with him instead of without, ultimately strengthening your bond as well. Good luck!

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Hi Chad,

I really don't know where to begin. I just moved in with my boyfriend and sometimes I get super mixed signals. Like, I'm used to living alone too but sometimes it feels like I'm a bother or he'd rather live alone again. We have our great moments and then there's these other times that I can't read him and don't know if he's actually happy. I love him so much and we waited a year to move in but now I'm not sure if he's happy with the decision. How can I tell if he's actually happy with me?

Sincerely,

Unsure

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Hi bb,

So here's the thing, you said that you waited a year to move in and that you have great moments too. That means that it's not ALL bad, however, there might be rough spots that aren't great either. And I know you've heard this before but welcome to Chad's School For Gays, communication is key. You have to talk to him and be honest about how you're feeling too. You have to give him the opportunity to say what's up before you jump to conclusions about what he's thinking. Maybe he's having a difficult time adding someone to his space which is very common. Also, you changed spaces entirely whereas he added you to his. Therefore, he's mixing your energy with everything there previously which can cause mixed emotions! I'd say don't sweat it, girl, just make sure you're putting out enough and everything will be fine!

Got a question for me? Nothing is off-limits! Email me: [email protected]. Until next time!