5 Tips for Telling Your Parents That You Do Porn

I came out to my mother a few weeks ago about getting all naked for the camera for coin and, well, she had words. Fast-forward, HuffPost is hearing all about it and sharing it with its readers. Click over for the full article, and in the meantime, here are five things to keep in mind if or when you ever have to tell your parents that you do porn…

1. Do it sooner than later. Everyone watches porn whether they admit it or not, and it’s only a matter of time until a co-worker or family friend doesn’t mind their own goddam business and tells your parents for you. Best to own that $h*t before whatever bored Betty tells them for you.

2. Be ready to hear the worst. It can be a shocker for a parent to hear from the source that their little angel has played a priest taking it in the holiest of holes. They may say some $h*t. Prepare yourself for the worst reaction, and then some.

3. Be patient. Preparing for the worst is one thing, and if their reaction to the news is not the best, people have the capability to change. Don’t write them off if their initial reaction is not the desired one. It may suck, but you’re an adult (at least I f*cking hope you are, otherwise you have committed a heinous crime). With patience, your parents may come around. One day at a time, right?

4. Be ready with current facts. So many folks believe that the Hollywood perception of sex workers is reality. I cannot speak for the porn industry of the '70s (but I do love their work!), however today the industry has many rules, regulations, and respect (speaking from my experience). Take the opportunity to share with them how sex work is actual work.

5. Don’t forget, it’s a conversation. Don’t cut them off when they are speaking, even if you don’t like what you’re hearing. Let them finish a thought, a sentence, whatever. Wait for your turn to speak. This being said it is a conversation. If they are not allowing you to speak or are continuously cutting you off like a Republican with a mic, be patient. If it continues, however, suggest giving them some time to process and pick up the conversation when they feel more ready to speak about it TOGETHER. Word-vomint is an epidemic.

Those are my five tips for coming out to your parents as a porn star, although I am sure the same can be applied to coming to them as many other identities and professions. Think I missed anything? Don’t be shy. Let me know. Let’s start the conversation today to make tomorrow just a touch more digestible.

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Photography courtesy of Ramon Redel

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