Exclusive Interview: Director, Producer, & All Around Badass Mr Pam

June 16, 2023
JACK

The old phrase "behind every great man is a great woman" is now considered pretty outdated, but one person to who it still undeniably applies is the one and only Mr. Pam. The award-winning icon is proudly one of the few biologically female directors in gay male porn and one of the best and most successful. In an exclusive interview, she shared what brought her to the business and how she has navigated through the changing times.

Could you tell us about your journey to becoming a filmmaker in the adult industry?

Can you believe it will be 20 years in the gay porn industry this summer?!? Wow! What an amazing journey. I had always loved cameras. My dad was in the wine business, and he would trade cases of wine with the local electronics shop, that’s how I got my first photography camera at 11 years old. Then he would trade wine with another buddy who worked at Kodak, so I always had free film and photo processing. In HS, my dad traded wine for a video camera, and I started filming everything. It was really awesome to have access to camera gear at such an early age… it was the '80s! That $hit was expensive!

Fast-forward 10 years and I stumbled upon an internship in grad school doing video editing and one of the clients was gay porn company Hot House Entertainment. Since I was new, they gave me the porn to edit. After dipping my toe in adult entertainment, I wasn’t sure I was ready to commit to a life of porn right after getting my degree, so I took a job working as a graphic designer at News.com – for 6 years! It was great at first: dotcom boom in San Francisco, tons of money, and felt like we were creating the internet. It was a blast… until it wasn’t. Around 2003, the dot-com boom in SF crashed, pink-slip parties every day and I was bored AF. Just then the gay porn industry popped up again – this time in the form of NakedSword’s new marketing tool to get people to come to their new ‘video streaming service’ – I got hired on to shoot and direct The Tim and Roma Show starring Sister Roma and Tim Valenti, the owner of NakedSword.com. It was a blast! We would go on porno field trips and go visit sets of all the big gay porn companies and interview the directors and the stars. I was still working my News.com job 9-5 and shooting T&R Show on the weekends. Through the show, I reconnected with one of my previous editing clients and was asked to go on a 3-week shoot to go shoot behind the scenes for COLT Studio Group’s big cowboy movie BuckleRoos. It was too good to pass up, so I quit my corporate job after 6 years at CNET News.com and drove out to the ranch to shoot some hot man sex.

I had no idea this would be my new, exciting, career adventure for the next 20 years! Omg! So crazy how that shoot changed my life. I ended up shooting second camera on the sex and my DVD extra “Behind the Scenes” turned out so well that they put in extra money to turn it into a feature-length documentary Exposed: The Making of a Legend that premiered at Castro Street Theatre Pride week and screened around the world.

Even more awesome, the movie BuckleRoos that we filmed, ended up sweeping the gay porn awards, winning Best Picture, Best Videography, Best Director, Best Actor, etc.

I think the coolest thing was the very first sex scene I helped film was the ‘cowboy love-making’ scene between Marcus Iron and Dean Phoenix, which ended up winning Best Duo Sex Scene too. What are the chances that my very first real experience on a gay porn set ended up winning – it was magical and set my career in motion. It was meant to be!

Gay Porn was my calling!

Could you tell us about your relationship with pornography before becoming a filmmaker? Who are some of your favorite classic performers and stars? Who do you think are some of the greats?

Great question! I guess my introduction to pornography was the stack of Playboy Magazines that my dad had stuffed in the back of his bedroom nightstand. My girlfriends and I would sneak up to my parent’s bedroom and check out all the big-titty ladies in the glossy pages and wonder if our boobs would ever look like theirs. Fast-forward to the first time I saw gay porn – I was a senior at San Francisco State and befriended a sweet gay boy Jim from my design class. He invited me over to his house in the Castro to hang out and smoke weed. As we’re enjoying a (somewhat legal… it was the '90s) joint we bought in the park, he whispers, “do you want to check out this gay porn tape?” He put a VHS tape into his VCR and pressed re-wind, but not on fast rewind, I could still see the video playing but in reverse. He was sitting in front of the TV yammering on about something and behind him, in reverse were two guys going at it. I don’t think we ever watched the actual tape, got distracted because we were stoned, but that image of 2 dudes fucking, but very fast in reverse has been burned into my memory.

Once I actually started working in porn, I had an internship at a video editing company in Oakland and their biggest clients were porn companies, Falcon Studios and Hot House Entertainment. What I loved about gay porn (and still do) is that of course the porn inspires people sexually, but it's also a genre of film that documents gay history. I became obsessed with the first gay porn companies like AMG (Athletic Model Guild) featuring bodybuilder men in “posing straps” (odd version of the modern G-string), then Chuck Holmes, the founder of Falcon Studios and all the directors who learned porn under Chuck – like Chi Chi LaRue, Jerry Douglas, John Rutherford, Steven Scarborough, Chris Ward. Kristofer Weston. It’s fascinating to see the knowledge and love of gay adult entertainment being passed down through generations.

You have been in the business for 20 years now. Could you tell us about how the business has changed over the years? How have you changed? Both good and not-so-good.

The gay porn industry has changed tremendously (technology, streaming, VR, studios, Fan platforms)… and then not changed at all (dick in asshole). It was and always will be… a big hard cock pounding a tight, pretty asshole. Some things never change!

Aside from technology, I think the biggest change is the influence social media has had on porn. When I first started, we weren’t even allowed to have our own cameras on set. I have only a handful of photos from my first year in porn, and those were mainly from the location owner, sneaking photos when the producers weren’t looking. Back in the day, the studios were very very strict on controlling the ‘image’ of the models in their movies. My very first project/shoot was I was hired to shoot behind-the-scenes for a big cowboy movie, which later turned into a feature-length documentary but the producers were sooo strict that the entire cast and crew only being featured as masculine as possible. I don’t know how many times I heard “he’s all big and muscular until a purse falls out of his mouth…don’t show that!”

But now with social media, models have their own voice and market themselves – and there are all kinds of gay guys, from hyper-masculine to very feminine. That’s what I personally LOVE about gay men is all the expressions of masculinity. I think it’s great that fans can really get to know the real star, and not constructed persona created by the big studios.

What are some of your thoughts on the ongoing competition between the studio world and the OnlyFans world of the business?

There’s room for everyone! Big studio productions, pro-Am porn, OnlyFans, Just4Fans, Flirt4Free cam shows, PornHub channels, custom content, live shows – and more to cum. It's so awesome that guys who didn’t really ‘make it’ in studio porn are raking it in on their Fan sites and guys who prefer to be on set, and the collaboration of studio porn, are making money too.

Years ago, when I’d be casting for big studio productions, there would be hundreds of guys applying but there are just so many spots. For me, it was about 8 slots a month, that’s a drop in the bucket of the guys applying. But now the playing field is even if you have a smartphone and social media…the sky’s the limit. You don’t have to wait around for the phone to ring, you can be a pornstar today!

What advice do you have for aspiring performers?

Oh, where do I start? Lol! The biggest advice is to really think about where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years. Once the images of you with a big dick in your mouth are out there in the world, it could be limiting to some career choices (teacher, nurse, politician, evangelist…whatever). Once you are more than sure you don’t want to become a 3rd-grade teacher someday, then go for it!!

Second advice: Be realistic… just because you WANT to become the next world renown pornstar, doesn’t mean it will happen. I’m sorry! Don’t shoot the messenger!

I would love to walk the runway in a Victoria's Secret Fashion show but… I’m probably too old and big-boned for that to happen. Set high goals for your life but also…Keep it realistic.

If you want to do studio porn, apply to sites that have guys who look like you. Or if you want to start an OnlyFans or Just4Fans account, go for it! Remember, you get out of it what you put into it. It’s a lot of work to make good money. Yes, it's fucking, and fucking is fun, but it’s also a business. The more professional you are, the more you will make.

I always say guys go into porn for 3 reasons: Fun, Fame, or Money. What’s your reason??

Let’s say you’re in your 30s, you have been working on your body and it's finally at the stage when you want to show it off and you have a career that’s flexible for you to do porn, and basically, you’re doing porn for FUN. If a little fame happens, that’s cool… and some extra spending money. Yes, that is the perfect scenario to go for it!!!

What do you think makes for the best gay sex on film?

The more natural the sex, the better. If the guys are having fun and truly enjoying each other, losing themselves in a real, authentic dick-down, that is the best.

Now especially with so many gay porn viewing options, if you really want to hook your viewer, be yourself and have fun!!

You are one of the few biologically female directors in gay male porn. Anything about that which you would like to discuss?

Who meeeee? Am I a lady??? I love when people see “Mr. Pam” and think I’m trans, that’s the best compliment. I may be female presenting, but for years my mind has been a dirty F*g and proud of it! (Doh! Can I say the F word? Proudly!!)

Yeah, I just stumbled into this gay porn world in grad school and I am so happy I did. I have always LOVED LOVED LOVED gay men, so much. And I also love cameras, and to be able to have enjoyed the adventures I have enjoyed, traveled the places I have traveled… seen things that no woman has ever seen, it’s been such a blessing and I’m so thankful.

It’s crazy being so successful as a biological woman in probably the most “male-dominated” industry. Yes, I have had my fair share of bullies – one time on set I got in an argument with another crew member over lunch for the crew, which escalated to having a 300lb man screaming and spitting in my face that a woman didn’t belong on set!

The thing that it taught me is to look beyond the obvious. I could never play the ‘girl-card’ in gay porn. For example, I could never say I’m not getting the “opportunity” because I’m a girl. No. I don’t technically belong in gay porn, it’s a space for men, so what are the other factors contributing to me not getting _(fill in the blank)____? Was I too quiet in the meeting? Was I too loud? Did all my ideas suck? Was it someone else simply better for that job?

There are so many contributing factors to getting or not getting “big breaks” in life, and I encourage everyone to look beyond your “default”: gender, sexual orientation, race, size, age, or whatever you think is holding you back. Instead, really look at the facts and characteristics surrounding the situation and work to improve yourself in those areas.

Take it from me…. You can be highly successful if you work hard and just be fun to be around!

Who is Mr. Pam outside of making the hottest gay porn? Hobbies? Interests? Beliefs?

I love Poop!! I can’t do an interview without mentioning my little chihuahua named Poop, he is the best thing to ever happen to me. Live your best chihuahua life I always say!

When I’m not on set shooting insanely hot gay porn, I love anything in nature. Poop and I love to go kayaking in Lake Mead outside Las Vegas any chance we get. Swimming, camping, hiking, park for sunset walks every day, religiously. If I’m not working a red carpet in a sequin evening gown, I’m perfectly fine rolling around in the dirt.

I’m also working on a couple of books and making art (www.whambamstyle.com) I recently joined the National Speaker Association and Toastmasters to explore expanding my microphone antics from hosting dirty porn events to more professional speaking.

I also just launched a new performer consulting business: https://www.thepornconsultant.com/

Until then… it’s all about POOP!