Chad Talks: Open for Bussy-ness in Your Open Relationships

March 12, 2023
CHAD

Girl, if you’ve slept with a gay man in LA, you’ve probably fucked someone’s boyfriend. Right after I escaped The Handmaid’s Tale (the Midwest), I found myself in the middle of Los Angeles and in a bit of a pickle. Almost every guy I hooked up with was seeing, dating, or married to someone! My corn-fed beliefs and ideologies about love and sex were physically shaking like one of those random, middle-of-the-night earthquakes we get. I couldn’t believe how hard it was to find another single homo to start something with, that is until I found Aiden.

Drunk in love became a lifestyle as Aiden became my party partner. We hit every pool party, nightclub, and circuit that we could smash into the weekends he would come and visit me from Phoenix. Everything came to a boiling point when we were at a circuit party and found ourselves feeling the molly, each other, and some strangers. This was a new moment for me as I had never been one who enjoyed sharing. But it was at this particular moment that I fell in love. Even while he was getting fucked from behind while we were making out and someone else was sucking my dick, in that moment completely surrounded by horny gays it was just us.

Each and every relationship is different and unique, contrary to how I feel almost all view sex and love. To me, they are not parallel nor linear. You can love someone and have sex with them and you can have sex with someone you don’t love at all. You can fuck anyone you want and that still doesn’t mean you’re in love with any of them. Relationships can still be sacred even when sex isn’t. As long as everyone is consenting and happy, then who cares what other bitches think! So what happened after that circuit party?

We started dating and thus began my first journey in a sexually non-monogamous relationship. We decided that we weren’t going to date anyone else, however, sex was fine as long as it was NSA. Our strength became communication as we would consistently check in on the vibe to see what was working and what needed to be reworked. The main question I get asked very frequently is if he and I still remain active in the bedroom and the answer is fuck yes, I fuck the fucking hell out of my sexy fucking boyfriend all the time. Just because I like to fuck other holes doesn’t mean I forget about my king’s Grade A bussy at home. Although some couples I know don’t engage in intimacy with each other anymore and are still fine with playing with others. Despite the heart, sometimes the hole just wants what it wants too.

But Chad, how do I not get jealous or insecure?! Well, girl, as mama Ru says “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”. You have to remain confident and check yourself frequently. You can never compete with your man, it’s not a competition to see who can score the most dick. Your view of sex needs to be pleasure centric and positive otherwise you just might end up destroying the one thing that mattered in the first place, your boyfriend! You can never let yourself feel jaded when your boyfriend hooks up with someone else, and that begins with how you choose to think about it. You must encourage yourself to be happy for him and allow yourself to feel a sense of excitement. Think about how hot it must’ve been and then recreate that with him again later. Keep your lines of communication open wider than a bottom’s hole at an after party and never lie to them or sneak around. Everything considered, I recommend openness to the gay who wants to have their cake and eat it too. Open your mind, and your legs to the idea and you just might catch yourself in the most dynamic relationship you’ll ever experience.