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Pumping Up With AJ Sloan: Get It Wet — Hydration Tips for Thirsty Guys


This one goes out to all my thirsty hoes. We all appreciate getting nice and sweaty at the gym, but what comes out must be put back in. No, I am not talking about when the dick slips out during a hole-widening pound sesh. I’m talking proper hydration, baby! 

Let’s get wet. When you sweat, your body is losing liquid, correct? True statement, but fluid is not the sole thing you need to replenish. When you sweat, you also lose minerals and electrolytes like sodium, magnesium, and calcium chloride. These are important to your body. So whether you are running, lifting, or fucking, be sure to get electrolytes in you.

Your body will tell you when you are under-hydrated. One of the easiest signs is urine color. Ask your friendly neighborhood watersports enthusiast. If your golden showers are a little too golden you might be a thirsty bitch. Keep the color light if you want to feel alright. You’re human urinal will thank you.

Be sure to begin a workout well-hydrated for max gainz and minimal painz. Best to have at least 20 ounces of liquid in you two hours before you hit the gym. While you work out, drink throughout. Instead of diving into dick pics between sets, march your thirsty ass over to the water fountain. Who knows, you might find some D irl on the way.

Weigh yourself before and after exercise. This is a great way to monitor fluid loss and fuel your body dysmorphia simultaneously (2 Ravens, 1 Symone). The difference in weight is the difference in water lost throughout your workout minus the load you may or may not have taken in the showers. Now you know how much fluid you need to get back in you.

As I mentioned, electrolytes are also essential for proper hydration. Choose your electrolytes wisely, especially if you’re a salty sweater (and yes, it is okay to taste test frequently). Check the sodium content of your sports drinks and supplements. Use the higher sodium content if you are working out for an hour or longer. Always remember, sodium is the most important electrolyte to replace, so focus on that when choosing your drinks.

Just imagine how hydrated you’d be if you took a sip of water every time you thought about putting a dick in you. I mean, whatever works, right? Now go get quenched, my silly sluts.

Photos courtesy of  CoolTomPix

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