Pumping Up With AJ Sloan: Stretch It Out, Bro

We can all agree that exercise is essential to stay in fuck-ready shape, but you know what else is? Stretching.

Stretching tends to be neglected almost as much as that less hot boyfriend in the threesome with the couple that “only play together.” Boulder shoulders are hot but so is the ability to raise your arms higher than them. Stretching increases mobility and decreases the risk of injury, amongst other good stuff. It’s great for blood circulation to all of your bits and pieces and improves your performance for all sorts of… recreational activities.

Like all exercises, proper form and technique are key to avoiding hurting yourself. Before you begin, do a warm-up activity for 5 to 10 minutes. Stretching cold muscles may lead to injury, and that’s not good for anybody. You don’t need to do anything intense, keep it light.

 

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Extra points for symmetry. The human body is perfectly imperfect. While stretching, you will notice that perhaps one side can stretch more than the other. Make it a mini goal to have equal flexibility on both sides of your body. Unequal flexibility may (let’s hear it loud from the back of the classroom) LEAD TO INJURY.

The things I see when gogoing pic.twitter.com/IbW2zAleC6

— ✌ ✨1/2 OFF OF ❤️‍ (@AJSloanXXX) August 5, 2022

Emphasize your major muscle groups. I use my lower body a lot and I am sure you do too. Focus on muscle groups that you use a lot, like your calves, thighs, and ass. Your core keeps you upright all day long, so give it some love too, especially your lower back.  Other parts of the body that holds stress and tension are our shoulders and neck. In general, curate your stretch to give love to joints and muscles that you routinely use in whatever daily activity you get up to.

Riding lessons with @ChristianRyderX on set at @SayUncleNetwork making some meaningful hole/pole connections pic.twitter.com/XPoKatJ0vw

— ✌ ✨1/2 OFF OF ❤️‍ (@AJSloanXXX) July 21, 2022

Your movements should be slow, controlled, and smooth. Once you reach peak stretch, hold for 30 to 60 seconds more or less, and breathe through it.  If your movements are fast and bouncy you are doing it wrong (and will probably hurt yourself). Do not aim for pain.  Feeling tension is inevitable and otherwise your prerogative when it comes to stretching, but if you have reached the point of pain you have reached too far.

Consistency is key, so don’t be a quitter. I challenge you to stretch 3 times a week for at least 5 minutes. You won’t be doing the splits overnight, but in time you will be easily slipping into different sex positions you’ve only seen in your porn browser.  So keep at it. The only thing you should quit is your whining.

I know it can be scary, but I promise that once you get over the initial trepidation you will grow to like (maybe even love) or at least appreciate the benefits of stretching. When in doubt, grab a foam roller. They are our friends. Now go get as loose as your hole already is, my little oink-oinks.