I always wondered why society continues to stigmatize cock-sucking when it’s something that we all do and enjoy. We tell one another to “go suck a dick” like it’s a bad thing. Society loves to shame those who give blowjobs while simultaneously asserting that oral sex is expected between partners, with the mindset that you’re a prude if you don’t swallow cum. There is no winning for the generous cocksucker, but we can make their lives a little easier by exhibiting some general attentiveness to facilitate the greatest blowjob that one could possibly receive. This takes some measure of attentiveness to the needs of the person providing the blowjob. The goal is to allow them to do what they love, completely uninterrupted by distraction.
Pop culture depicts blowjobs as a violent jerking motion. This is not the case. Sometimes a blowjob is a sensual, pleasure-focused journey. Blowjobs are also used to establish dominance, where the cocksucker plays the passive role. Stripped of all nuance, a blowjob is an act of service from one person to another. We focus so heavily on the tricks and techniques for providing a great blowjob that we ignore putting forth any effort to be a great blowjob receiver.
The most popular responsibility of the blowjob receiver is to hold the cocksucker’s hair back. Although it seems like a small gesture, a logistical annoyance (like hair on the genitals or inside the mouth) can disrupt the fun out of oral sex. Minor avoidable annoyances will likely upset your partner more than anything painful. The last thing we need is for people to be taking breaks to remove small pieces of hair from their tongues. But, the stray hair must be removed from their mouth if they’re expected to perform well. Try not to let it get there, to begin with.
— Eddie Danger (@eddiedangerous) August 21, 2022
Communicating with a Mouth Full of Cock
Sex talk is mostly non-verbal. However, a language is established between people during sex (with lots of repeated phrases, i.e. “Fuck me, Daddy”), as well as a different identity (I am Master, Boy serves his Master). In the case of the blowjob, the communication is usually one-sided. The cocksucker is busy sucking cock. The recipient of the blowjob is left with idle hands and an empty mouth. If you feel the urge to interfere in the blowjob, pantomime what you’re aiming for. Touch lightly before applying pressure. Always request permission to proceed: “Can I do this?”, “Is this ok?”, “Do you like that?”. That’s all it takes. Permission can be granted without making a whole discussion out of it. The best practice is to make communication as easy as possible for those who cannot speak. Incorporating a request for consent into the language of your sex will ensure that everyone is a willing and enthusiastic participant.
Alternatively, if you’re extremely verbal during sex, it is important to be careful with the words being used. Kinky slut-shaming is all fun and games until you touch the wrong nerve. An attentive partner can tell when a line has been crossed. It’s great to try new things but take it slow until you have established the language of your shared intimacy.
— Eddie Danger (@eddiedangerous) August 27, 2022
The Etiquette of Blowjob Interference
If you plan on applying pressure onto your partner’s head, start off with a soft grip. Make subtle movements to signal that you’re going to take control of the rhythm of the strokes. You don’t want to alarm anyone and make them choke prematurely.
If using force on your partner during a blowjob gets you off, make sure that you’ve made that clear to your partner so they know what they’re getting themselves into. It would be awfully disappointing if your partner responds to your use of force by walking out on you. It’s also sobering to be refused by your partner while in the throes of passion. Disputes can kill the mood. Take things slow and obtain permission throughout your entire sexual experience. Heat-of-the-moment intensity is inevitable. Sometimes, things get unusually aggressive. Consent is still important.
If you’re into violent face-fucking, there are head straps designed to securely pull a person’s head onto your cock. Or you can use a waist belt. Placement of the strap just below the occipital knob (just below the back of the skull) and tug your partner’s head toward you, evenly, from both sides. Ensure a tight grip. Pulling someone’s head toward your pelvis, be sure to avoid slamming your groin into your partner’s nose. This is a face and there is a nose in the way of violent thrusting. An easy way to avoid crushing your partner’s nose is to simply flip them on their back and fuck their face upside down (where their nose makes contact with your balls). There are also two eyeballs that you’ll need to avoid. So, watch where you’re aiming that thing. If you’re going for a great cheek bulge, turn their head sideways, open their mouth from the chin, and thrust upward. Golden rule: Surprising people gets you bitten.
While some people can handle rigorous thrusting inside of their throat or ass, I’ve found that most people who enjoy deepthroating just like having a fat cock deep inside of their throat. Whenever you’re fucking for the sake of insertion alone, you use your PC muscles to make your penis jump. Deepthroating and anal aren’t for everyone, but many people enjoy feeling occupied by a penis (“where it doesn’t belong”). Throbbing internally provides a noticeable sensation that is different from the static occupation within their throat. It’s worth giving a shot.
Remember that the texture of the human throat feels great to slide up against, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is still a human throat. People will gag. People will puke. The goal is to make sure everybody feels good about it throughout. Sometimes, you don’t even know when you’ll be able to get that deep inside of someone’s throat again. So, it’s important to make the experience as pleasant as possible, without breaking the mood.
Be considerate of your partner’s physical stamina. If it takes you a long time to cum, offer to jerk off until you’re closer to climax. The person sucking your cock also has to hold themselves up somehow. I always tell my partners to get comfortable before they even start blowing me.
Cumming to an Empathetic Conclusion
The act of swallowing cum can leave a bad taste in some people’s mouths. It’s your mess, clean it up (or at least extend the offer). As we all know, jizz is no fun once it’s cooled down. Once you cum on someone’s face, tits, abs, or wherever, it is polite to offer a towel. I will only let cum sit with my partner if we’re filming content. I don’t assume that anybody likes stagnant cum unless explicitly stated. The satisfaction of cumming on a pretty face is incredible, but not worth upsetting your partner over.
Consider the sudden sobriety that overwhelms you after you’ve shot your load. Remember how fast you click out of your browser after you’ve finished jerking off to porn online? Some would call this “post-nut clarity.” In real life, we try to avoid abrupt mood swings. After you’ve shot your load, try to stay in the scene until your partner is cleaned up enough to communicate. I’ve found that cumming on someone’s face is fun until I realize that I just ruined my friend’s makeup or given them a red eye. Remember that you still must communicate with this person after the passion has fizzled out. It would be great to leave a good impression.
In the end, you are receiving a blowjob. If being selfish is your kink, I am not kink-shaming you. Do your thing. There are people out there who are just trying to suck some dick without turning it into a wrestling match. Some people love a rough top. For everyone else, it never hurts to simply hold their hair back and allow them to suck dick in peace.
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