RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Winners Episode 3 Recap: Queens Got Balls

May 31, 2022
CAKE MOSS

Hey bitches! It’s your favorite local LA queen Cake Moss, and biiitch Episode 3 is starting off great. Shea just came in and started a lie, and now everyone’s having a panic attack. But there’s nothing even happening! Jaida is going through it and I wanna just hug her! Trinity is mad but also focused, and I’m here for it. Time for my favorite mini-challenge “hung man." Congrats on that big win Jinkx! Now onto the main challenge: the first ball!

The categories for the All-Winners Ball are: Vanna White Realness, Before and After (based on the popular Wheel of Fortune game) and Realness of Fortune Eleganza, made from scratch. I think Raja is going to win; her first ball looks were the most inspiring thing in my life I’ve ever seen. The girls are all given an inspiration color to work with: Jinkx gets lavender; Shea gets white; Monet has emerald/green; Jaida landed on black; Raja got GOOOOOLD; Yvie got $500, then she got $1,000$ (and the girls are mad), and then she went bankrupt; The Vivienne got $1,500 (her first time winning money on Drag Race) and the color blue! Lucky bish! Trinity went bankrupt on the first spin. Yvie finally landed on pink and Trinity got red! Red and blue are my favorite colors, so I can’t wait to see what the girls make.

Raja is such a mood—a blunt and two bottles of wine sound great. The way Jinkx just kind of let the sewing machine go was me. I must say, I love Shea's drive to wow the judges. Ru agreed with Jinkx’s strategy with who to block, and I’m still shook that Monet hasn’t made a garment since the sponge dress. Also, Ru being shady! She said, "Why don’t you think you got the plunger?" Shady!! Jaida's nervous energy is like crack to Ru—she loves that shit. Miss Jaida and Shea are both in their heads this episode, which makes me nervous...

Monet is the thicc icon—I live! Shea's so stupid asking her, “Please answer that life long question, what that ass do?” Now, the girls are all still on their first look but have three total! Though, there’s only one they have to make from scratch, so there's the drama. Jinkx is cracking me up with her whatever happens happens attitude. I also like the way she handled that alliance situation with the Twinners (Trinity & Monet). She said, "You were very helpful and I will remember that if I’m in the top, but passing on it at the end." So then Trinity goes and asks Shea to join her team, then Jaida shows up and get bewildered. Shea passed on the alliance as well and then she basically just lets the girls know Trinity and Monet's tea!

Now it's time to bring it to the runway. Ru comin' out looking like Marilyn Monroe bish! Yes! Special guest this week is Kirby Baptiste, and she is everything. Let’s see these looks!!!

Vanna White Realness, category 1:
Actual Vanna?! Yessssss !!!
Jinkx: Love it! So amazing!!
Shea: So stunning, as usual.
Monet: Wasn’t giving Vanna but she looks good!
Jaida: Giving me Vanna down! “The first white lady in my household.”
Raja: INSANE!!! So good!!!
Yvie: Good interpretation but not giving me Vanna
Vivienne: Giving me Vanna-ish, still fierce!
Trinity: Serving down!!! Looks fantastic!!!

Before And After:
Jinkx as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane Fonda: This look is everything! So well put together!!!
Shea as the Gold Tooth Fairy: this fairy moment is everything!!!
Monet as Bob the Drag Queen Elizabeth: it was ok.
Jaida as Bag Lady in Red: That fit is so cunt!!!
Raja as Olivia Newton John Waters: I absolutely love the bad girl Sandy look.
Yvie as Cardi B(ea) Arthur is everything!!!
Vivienne as Princess Diana Ross: looks good!
Trinity as RuPaul Charles the 2nd is serving history tea. lol

Last up : Make Their Own Realness of Fortune Eleganza
Jinkx’s lavender look actually looks amazing.
Shea looks ethereal as usual!
Monet's look is really fun! An Irish disco fantasy.
Jaida looks like a shadow hunter and I live!!! That hair is everything!
Raja: everything she touches turns to woah.
Yvie's look is cute!
Vivienne looks stunning in turquoise! The headpiece is great too!
Trinity and this HAIR!!! Biiiiiiiiiiitch!!!! And that ass!!!

Critique time and I’m shooooooooooook! Bitch ANOTHER week with no actual negative critiques!?! The top two of the week are Jaida and Trinity—well deserved! They both get a star, since neither are blocked. Now these hoes gotta lip sync against each other and I’m excited! Here we go!!!

A BEYONCÉ NUMBER?!?! OH, OK, RU. Jaida's hair, face, and body look so good. Jaida is eating it up!!! Feels like Trinity gave up kinda. Congrats Jaida! Now, who she gonna block? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN — OH MA GAWD, SHE BLOCKED JINKX!!! I mean she’s only doing what Jinkx said she was gonna do, so she can’t be mad. This was a great episode! And like I said before, this is a great season! More like this, please! Ok kids, enjoy your days! See you at Micky's and my once a month in Santa Clarita at The Canyon! I am Cake Moss and thanks for reading my reviews! Bye hoes!